February 2011

Thursday, 24 February 2011, 06:40h  –  Dawn over Dublin.
Dawn over Dublin
It was the beginning of a stunningly beautiful day.   :)

Posted in Dublin | 1 Comment

The Weather Report

And now … only two days late, here is …

    The Weather Report 
    for Tuesday, 15 February, 2011.



Posted in Audio, Dublin, Silly | Leave a comment

My Sekrit Affair

On Sunday, 13 February kvetch and I were having lunch at The Church, a bar and restaurant on Mary Street.   I ordered a Mojito, and the waitress told me they were having a two-for-one special offer til 18:00.

Since kvetch wasn’t drinking, I had two.   Yummy!   :)

Later that day some of my pixel pals on FetLife and I have been discussing whether it’s possible to be our own primary partner.   My contribution was to tell them about this as a support for the super sekrit affair I was having with myself on the side.

So I had a drink with myself right in front of kvetch and he never suspected a thing.   :p

Two Mojitos I commemorated the moment by photographing my pretty Mojitos.   You can see kvetch in the back on the right with the zip flap of his jacket showing up as a vertical yellow stripe.   I know you can’t possibly experience the same slurpfest I did just by looking at them, but hey, it’s a pretty picture.   :p

And here they are!   Enjoy.   :)

Posted in Droolworthy Stuff, Dublin, Me Me Me Me Me, Restaurants, serf, Silly | 1 Comment

Fun With Kvetch

This post is all about a frivolous moment I enjoyed with kvetch.   Most of it is lead-up and background, but in my opinion, the punchline is  definitely  worth it.

The Lead Up

Farscape - The Complete Series DVD Recently, kvetch bought the Farscape complete television series DVD box set on special offer from Amazon.com.   We were watching Episode 7 of the first season, called PK Tech Girl.

Farscape - The Zelbinion In this episode, the gang come across a derelict Peacekeeper ship.   Aeryn Sun and John Crichton go aboard to investigate, and find a Peacekeeper tech called Gilina, who recognises them as escaped fugitives wanted by the Peacekeepers.
Farscape - Alyssa-Jane Cook and Claudia Black

    Note The First:   Gilina is wearing some very dark lipstick, and despite some messy circumstances it remains perfect for the duration of the episode.

Farscape - Claudia Black, Ben Browder and Alyssa-Jane Cook 1 After some heated interrogation and negotiation with Aeryn, Gilina agrees to help the gang with some greasy tech machine stuff.   The Peacekeeper derelict has a defense screen, and Gilina and John get to work on getting it functional and installed on board their ship, Moya. Farscape - Ben Browder and Alyssa-Jane Cook 1

    Note The Second:   in circumstances such as these, hot scenes with some grease involvement are really ubiquitous.

Farscape - Ben Browder and Alyssa-Jane Cook 5 So in between some getting-to-know-you flamey tool-usage, cable-connect-uppage and hot spanner-on-bolt action, John and Gilina get all hot and bothered together  (complete with metaphorical blinking red lights, flying sparks, and spurting steam). Farscape - Ben Browder and Alyssa-Jane Cook 3
Farscape - Ben Browder and Alyssa-Jane Cook 8 This hot and botheredness includes some serious face suckage, during which Gilina’s lipstick remains perfect and John Crichton’s face remains lipstick-free.

Farscape - Claudia Black, Ben Browder and Alyssa-Jane Cook 3 After some hormone-inflaming emergencies involving fire-spitting villains in funny costumes, the day inevitably gets saved with some pretty explosions and fire effects.  

Farscape - Ben Browder and Alyssa-Jane Cook 10 John and Gilina say good bye with some more face suckage, during which Gilina’s lipstick again remains perfect and John’s face again remains mysteriously lipstick-free.

Farscape - Claudia Black The episode is wrapped up with some bonus extra morality lessons about inaccurate assumptions and the validity of all life forms, and some pretty close-ups are included with each of them indulging in some solitary melancholic introspection.

The Point

So I was watching this with kvetch, and I start commentating  (as I do):

    Me:   “Hey, how come his face isn’t covered in lipstick?”
    kvetch:   “It’s space lipstick.”

This is a good example of why kvetch is such a fun serf to own.   :)

That’s It

That’s it for Fun With Kvetch.   If you’d like to watch the episode to see the mysteriously majickal superpowered lipstick, here it is in four parts.

Enjoy!   :)
Farscape [1×07] – PK Tech Girl [PART 1] 15:00

Farscape [1×07] – PK Tech Girl [PART 2] 15:00

Farscape [1×07] – PK Tech Girl [PART 3] 15:00

Farscape [1×07] – PK Tech Girl [PART 4] 3:10


Posted in Review, serf, Silly | Leave a comment


Last night for the first time in I-can’t-remember-how-long, I attended a social event in my local BDSM scene!   Excitement!   :)

Some of you will already be aware of my experiences with the administrators of most of my local BDSM scene, and the selective, contradictory and bizarre way they and their friends define acceptable behaviour.

For reasons which those administrators and their friends have persistently declined to specify to me  (and about which they have persistently declined to respond to me),  they have banned me from most of the main Irish scene groups and all their activities.   So when events are organised to which I  am  welcome, they tend to be advertised in places I’m excluded from and so I often miss them.

Apparently somebody other than me concluded completely independently that the prevailing local scene fails to meet their needs.   And fair play to them, they organised their own event and advertised it on FetLife.   Yay!

Kvetch spotted the event page on FetLife and drew my attention to it.   Based on my past experiences with some of the leaders and members of my local scene, I knew that publicly RSVPing my intention to attend would be likely to advertise further opportunities to harass me.   So I kept my intentions to attend to myself.

Thankfully, the date, time and venue were visible on the event notice.   To help keep me safe and sound I brung kvetch and a new man I’ve been dating, and we all went along together.


There were 11 people in attendance at our table:

  • 3 – Me, kvetch, and my other date
  • 2 – The organiser and her friend
  • 1 – A man from the country
  • 2 – A man and woman from the country
  • 2 – Another man and woman
  • 1 – A woman

Those were the eleven people at our table, but one person also showed up whom I’ve known personally since 2008, and I’m not sure whether to count him as having attended or not.   He is listed on the event page as ‘going’, and indeed he was physically present for about two hours on the specified date, at the specified time, in the specified venue,  and  near our table.

However, for some reason he declined to actually speak to us or join us at all.   So was he an unrelated passer-by unconnected to our event?


Well, let’s see now.   We were meeting in a huge venue which had many separate areas available, most of which were far from and out of sight of our particular table.  

I saw him arrive alone, wander by himself back and forth past our table several times, have a few pints on his own, and hang around near us by himself  (but not near enough to greet or converse).   I also saw him leave alone, come back alone, have a few more pints alone, wander by himself back and forth past our table some more, and generally hang about by himself in our eyeline near our table for about two hours.   And in all that time he made no direct contact with us whatsoever.

Some people might characterise that kind of behaviour as creepy.

His close non-interacting fly-by passes and lurks were frequent enough for all of us to notice and remark on them.   He spent so much time positioning himself in our eyeline and hovering on our periphery that I wondered if he was waiting for somebody to present him with an engraved invitation to join us or something.

So I suppose it might be accurate to say that he attended the venue on the date and time in question, but he may have been running his own event simultaneously at which the number of attendees was 1 (one).

If any other people arrived at the venue for this meeting without making contact with us, I wasn’t aware of them.


I thought this was some wild creepy shit.   I mean, what the fuck?   Why venture all the way out to an event only to hover all alone from a distance, watching?   He couldn’t say even one word to us over the whole two hours?   Even a simple ‘hello’ was too much?

I first met this person back in 2008 because he emailed me requesting contact with me.   Every in-person and online interaction I’ve ever had with him was initiated by him and explicitly invited by him.   Yet this same person has banned me from the FetLife bdsmireland groups without providing a reason of any kind.   He has also blocked all contact from me on FetLife without any interaction from me there at all.

Given that my personal experiences with this person have included creepier than creepy shit at various in-person meetings and events, I’m perfectly happy for him to continue to keep his moral cowardice far, far away from me.

The upshot of all this is that whatever he thought he was doing all by himself at that venue, his decision to keep away from us probably made my evening a whole lot more pleasant.


Weirdness with the lurky repeat-pass silent hoverer aside, I had a totally excellent time!

The organiser was friendly and welcoming.   Her experiences of the local scene administrators were unfortunately similar to the excluding behaviours I’d encountered, and so we were able to commiserate and compare notes.   After sharing some of our similar experiences I felt reassured and comfortable with her.

Her friend with the bowler hat was also warm and friendly.   Even though he doesn’t smoke he came out to the smoking area with us to keep us company.   He was also very generous with his hat and we all tried it on.   :)

And I enjoyed chatting with the man from the country.   We talked a bit about the difficulties of dating, and navigating BDSM and open relationships in the culture we live in.   I guess even ordinary dating can be problematic for pretty much anybody, but add in some diversity and that certainly seems to increase the number of obstacles.   Oh well.

I didn’t get a chance to have much of a chat with either of the two couples or the woman, unfortunately.

Kvetch reports that the gents loo had poetry in the stalls.   Not having visited the ladies loo, I cannot confirm if it has any similar literary features.   But the smoking area is covered and heated and well-appointed, even if it is up a bunch of stairs.

And I can’t comment on the bar service either because thanks to kvetch and my other date, I didn’t have to do any bar runs.   :)

Other than those of us who arrived together, we were all meeting each other for the first time.   But sure, we didn’t have to know each other to enjoy our evening of socialisement.

    And why shouldn’t a babble of pervs enjoy some socialisement, of an evening?   :p

    (I considered a ‘pilchard of pervs’ but that just made no sense, even to me)

So the evening went super extra fabulously well, everybody seemed quite relaxed and cheerful, we all conversated a lot and I at least had an absolutely spiffy time!   :)

So well done to purpletattoo for organising such a successful event, and I look forward to attending again in future.

Thank you purpletattoo.   :)

Posted in Dublin, inclusion, The Scene | 18 Comments

Final Frivolous Irrelevance for 2010

For my last post of 2010, I am pleased to present some frivolous irrelevance.

You may have noticed that sometimes in my posts I use images from the public domain or with Creative Commons licenses.   I usually find them in the huge image repository at the fabulous Wikimedia Commons.

So I’ll just take a sec to thank Wikimedia Commons for being so spectacularly useful.
Thank you!
Ok, now I’ll return you back to your regularly scheduled bloggage.


Regularly Scheduled Bloggage

Occasionally Wikimedia Commons don’t have the images I’m looking for.   During my humungous blog update this year  (which by the way is still ongoing)  I was looking for everyday-type images of men massaging women.   I found many of women massaging men and men massaging men, but almost none of men massaging women.  

So I took some of me and kvetch and shared them on Wikimedia Commons.

My foot massaged by kvetch's hands In the attribution information for those images on Wikimedia Commons, I included a link to my blog.  

Last month in my blog stats I saw a referral from the file page of this foot massage image.   When I checked it out, I saw this super extra frivolously cool thing.

(with bonus irrelevant randomness)


Frivolously Cool With Bonus Randomness Thing

This is a section of the file page for the foot massage image on Wikimedia Commons.
A section of the file page of my image on Wikimedia Commons
The super extra randomly and frivolously cool part was this:

    File usage on other wikis
    The following other wikis use this file:

    • Usage on uk.wikipedia.org
      • Масаж

Oooooh, check it out:

Ukrainian Wikipedia  –  The Massage Page!

starring  Lady Lubyanka  as
Massaged Extremities  and  The Photographer

Co-starring  Kvetch  as
Massaging Hands  and  Are We Done Yet?


Ukrainian Wikipedia page on massage How many people do you know who can truthfully say they feature on Ukrainian Wikipedia?

Isn’t this just totally of the random frivolous coolness?

(I’m so editing my C.V. to add – ‘Extremities featured in starring rôles on Ukrainian Wikipedia’)

So this is me starring as ‘The Massaged’, and kvetch starring as ‘The ‘are we done yet?’ Massagist’ on Ukrainian Wikipedia.

And this post was my frivolous irrelevance to see out 2010 into 2011.

Happy New Year!   :)


Posted in inclusion, Me Me Me Me Me, serf, Silly, Validation | Leave a comment

Responsibility Expoundathon


Cartoon of two differently sized men sitting at a table with angry faces pointing at each other.

© Ron Tandberg

I’ve had quite a few problems with people who persistently abdicate and/or misattribute responsibility.   Mostly due to these problems, I’ve formulated a certain view of human responsibility.

I’ve spend a super goodly amount of time considering this view, and challenging it, and rethinking it, and testing it against diverse circumstances and other ideas, and so far it’s always held true.   And the more it holds true, the more it supports my other ideas about people.

So I cling to my view of human responsibility pretty strongly, and it supports and flavours pretty much every idea I have about all human beings and everything they do.

Now, I understand that many people have complex ideas about responsibility and culpability, and stuff which causes other stuff.   However, my ideas about human responsibility and culpability are very, very simple.   So for any productive discussion or debate I really need at the very least a mutual understanding of what I think ‘responsibility’ means and how I apply it to human beings.

Note that I don’t require people to agree, just to understand where I’m coming from.

This post is for my convenience so I can link to a clear explanation of my view of human responsibility.   So all jokes about ‘blaming society‘ aside, this is a summary of my view:

    What any individual does or doesn’t do is entirely and solely their own responsibility.

And for the mutual understanding and convenience of my discussion partners  (and all you other good people who like to read my drivel),  here’s a more fleshed-out description.

Human Beings – Choices And Responsibility

xkcd - Creepy - 28 September 2009

© 2009 xkcd.com

Assuming reasonable degrees of emotional and intellectual brain function, I believe that

  • Every individual is totally and solely responsible for their every choice and action.
  • Other people are totally and solely responsible for  their  choices and actions.
  • No individual can ever force another to contravene their own choices.

For illustrative purposes, here is an extreme  (and only partly imaginary)  example.

Extreme And Only Partly Imaginary Example

Imagine that Person A is holding a gun to my head and telling me to walk somewhere.

Imagine that I choose instead to stand still and remain where I am.

First principles:

  • I have full and sole control over my choice to walk.
  • Person A has zero control over my choice to walk.
  • The gun is solely under Person A’s jurisdiction.
  • I have zero control over what happens with that gun.
  • My choices and Person A’s choices operate independently of each other.
  • Person A transgressed my consent and is therefore untrustworthy.
  • I prioritise my own well-being over pleasing Person A.

Because Person A has zero control over my choice to walk, the only way Person A can get me to walk is to persuade me to  change my mind and choose to walk.   So to that end, Person A chooses to threaten me with the gun which they  do  control, to encourage me to make a choice which is  outside  Person A’s control.

Now it’s true that Person A can choose to pull the trigger at any time and shoot me dead.   Whilst my fear of being shot and desire to remain alive might coerce me to change my standing-still choice into a walking choice, Person A’s choice to either pull the trigger or leave it alone can be  entirely independent of my actions.

Person A could tell me they will leave the trigger untouched if I walk, and Person A  could be lying.   The validity of what Person A chooses to say and do is  also  entirely outside my jurisdiction and control.

  • If I stand still, Person A could still choose to leave the trigger untouched.
  • If I walk as Person A directs, Person A could still shoot me dead.
  • If Person A shoots me dead or drags me anywhere,  I still won’t be walking.
    Conclusion  –  Person A can’t force me to do shit.

Sew-on circular cloth badge with a frowny face in the middle surrounded by the words - 'Blame Token' on the top and 'It's Your Fault' on the bottom. If Person A shoots me and then says  “Now look what you made me do”,  then Person A is simply abdicating responsibility.

I didn’t  make  Person A do anything, and even if I tried I couldn’t.

Even though the possible consequences of standing still represent a threat to me, that threat exists regardless of what choice I make.   So I can still choose to stand still.   And no matter how many guns are pointed at me or how many ways my life is threatened,  the only person who can change my choice is me.   And Person A can still pull that trigger and shoot me dead at any time whether I do as Person A directs or not.

    But shooting me did not make me walk when I chose to stand still.

Ultimately, the only one who can decide to pull the trigger or leave it alone is Person A, and the only one who can decide whether I walk or stand still is me.

So Person A will never be able to  force  me to do shit, only coerce.   And whether Person A succeeds in coercing me or not, the walking happens  only when I choose to walk.


xkcd - Hell - 07 April 2010

© 2010 xkcd.com

The way I see it, there is no such thing as “having no choice”.   Sure, the choices available may be limited, uncomfortable, or undesirable, but they are still choices.
No matter who or what you blame or credit for what you do or don’t do:

  1. Choices are always available.
  2. People only do what they choose to do.
  3. Force cannot compel, only coerce.
  4. Every individual choice and action is always entirely and solely that person’s responsibility.
  5. Other people’s choices and actions are always entirely and solely  their  responsibility.

It really is that simple.

Blame - No single raindrop thinks it's responsible for the flood.  © demotivate.org

© demotivate.org


Posted in Consent, Human Beingness 101, inclusion, Psychology, Respect, Safety | 15 Comments