Still Confused?

Here’s a summary and the latest updates.

21 August, 10:23 IST  –  A member of the Irish BDSM scene whom I have never met and never had any contact with before initiates contact with me by joining and leaving a local BDSM-themed yahoo group I run.

The online name she uses for this is sparkle8faery, which I recognise from her participation in bdsmireland.

21 August, 11:16 IST  –  I publish a blog post with the correspondence detailing sparkle8faery’s joining and leaving.

24 August, 12:24 IST  –  sparkle8faery initiates contact with me again by commenting on that post.

sparkle8faery’s comment includes

  • content I recognise as similar to that from  fig367
  • explicit welcoming of private email from me
  • personal judgements about me and my group, including her opinions that


24 August, 15:15 IST  –  I publish a response in which I quote sections of sparkle8faery’s comment and make some personal observations about what she says in it.

25 August, 09:59 IST  –  sparkle8faery initiates further contact with me by submitting a lengthy comment on that post which amongst other things contains

  • acknowledgement that we don’t know each other
  • personal remarks directed at me
  • explicit questions to which she directly solicits my response
  • demands requests for proof of facts which she must already know


26 August, 16:40 IST  –  I publish a response in which I explicitly and specifically detail the facts which sparkle8faery requested, and asking a few questions of my own.

Update – New And Improved!

sparkle8faery writes a comment in response to my post of 26 August, but submits it for publication on the previous one of 25 August.

Perhaps she was indulging in the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Tra la la laaaas.

Author:   sparkle8faery
Post:   Group Report And Parroted Fantasies
Date:   26 August 2009 21:26:45 IST

lubyanka, since you now appearing to be stalking me on fetlife, it seems you are committed to believing this paranoid figment of your imagination,so i no longer see the point of entering into correspondance with you.

Just as I thought that sparkle8faery’s demands for proof sounded similar to my queries to  fig367  asking him to specify how his reasons for banning me from Nimhneach apply to me personally, to me sparkle8faery’s response sounds pretty much like this response from  fig367  when he was unable to support his reasons for banning me with anything factual.

I have a few things to say in response.
sparkle8faery, here are a few facts comprising a summary of our time together.

  • All of your contact with me was initiated by you and solicited by you.
  • All of your contact with me was your choice, not mine.
  • All of your contact with me was disrespectful, unkind and unwelcome.
  • You independently chose of your own free will to publish information which you made available to anybody on the internet.
  • You solicited answers from me yet showed no interest in them.
  • You asked me to provide you with information which you already knew.
  • I read your published information to help answer your direct questions.
  • I answered your questions in good faith.
  • You declined to answer questions which I asked you in good faith.
  • I recognised contradictions in your messages and queried them with you.
  • Your sole defense was to accuse me of paranoia and stalking you.
  • Your  only  contact with me was initiated by you, specifically requested by you, and explicitly solicited and continued by you.

And here are a few  “if-then”  statements to finish off.

  • If you  really  think that reading a person’s publicly accessible information which they publish on the internet is “stalking” …
  • If the  sole reason  you think I’m stalking you is because I read the information which you personally chose to make publicly accessible on fetlife,  and
  • If you  really  think that the continuing pointless harassment I’ve had from people like you is solely my “paranoid” imagination …
    Then you  might  want to check your definitions, and take a moment to consider how those criteria apply to your personal behaviour over the last week or so.

Good luck with that.

Thank you again for choosing to express yourself to me using your own identity.   I very much appreciate the way you have stood by your words by identifying yourself with them by name.   That was a really welcome change for me.

    And now, sparkle8faery, if as you say you’re really done hassling me, then the only thing I want to hear from you from now on  –  is  silence.


Ok, anybody else want a piece of me?


About Lady Lubyanka

I am a 45 year old musician, and also a multisexual, polyamourous, Jewish, socially dominant woman within my romantic BDSM relationships.
This entry was posted in Consent, correspondence, Dublin, exclusion, fuckwitism, Hypocrism, Respect, The Scene. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Still Confused?

  1. Pingback: Correspondence I Like « Lady Lubyanka

  2. Pingback: Outedness « Lady Lubyanka

Spill yo oh-PIN-yunz after the tone ...

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