Crap Update – Validation

As you may remember, in response to recent crap from my persistent bdsmireland/Nimhneach  troll  correspondent, I published my initial bloggy response and my forum post linking to it on Wednesday 29 July 09:41.   My  troll  correspondent waited to post his more overt abuse til Friday 31 July at 21:59 when the forum moderators were off for the weekend, so he must have been at least  partially  aware that his post sported features  other  than salient politeness.

The timing notwithstanding, I clicked the  “Report this post”  thingy for that forum post, because regardless of my personal feelings were about the poster, it seemed clear to me that  fig367/DavidBedlam/Paradiso‘s  last post contravened forum rules 1 and 6:

    1.   Rude, insulting or inflammatory posts will NOT be tolerated.
    6.   Please be respectful and do not harass other members.



When you click on the  “Report this post”  thingy on those forums, you get a little javascript pop-up window with a choice of  “Cancel”  or  “OK”  buttons.   The  only  information sent to the moderators when a post is reported is the username of person reporting it and the details of the reported post.

    There is absolutely no way to leave any kind of comment.

You can check this out yourself by clicking on any  “Report this post”  thingy on the forums.   (please also be sure to click  “Cancel”  after checking this out)
So when I reported it, I said absolutely nothing at all about the post or its author.

    I want to emphasise this because it demonstrates that the  moderator opinions and decisions on that post were entirely their own and were reached independently  with no input from me.

So just like the ludicrous claim that the bdsmireland/Nimhneach owners are mindless automatons who cannot do anything without my say-so, any attempt to demonstrate my undue influence over anybody else’s opinions and decisions is pointless.

The Validation

Anyhow, I reported the post on Friday.   On Sunday I published my response without mentioning it at all on the forum.

    (fig367  has been such a diligent and devoted reader of my blog, I felt quite confident that he’d see that post as well as this one without any link assistance from anywhere, just as he’s managed to read all my other posts all by himself)

And then on Monday whilst I was away from home, this message arrived from one of the forum moderators.

    From:   LoveHoney
    Subject: RE: LoveHoney Forums: Reported post
    Date: 3 August 2009 16:19:18 IST
    To:   Lubyanka
    Hi Lubyanka

    Thanks so much for forwarding this post – we have deleted it.

    It looks like the post was from someone with a personal grudge, so we will keep an eye on their activity.   If you could do the same, I’d appreciate it.



I must say, this message is a hugely welcome change from the responses I used to get from those bdsmireland/Nimhneach members who used to claim to be my friends.   Those people took their brave and valiant stand against this ongoing abuse by dropping me like a hot potato.

    (such brave and valiant friends I can do without, thank you)

I’ve heard and seen more of their  talk-a-lot-do-nothing  crap than I care to remember.

Just  one  tiny little validatey comment like this one, made by just  one  person unconnected to me, my blog, or bdsmireland/Nimhneach, means so very  very  much to me.   It choked me up a bit, actually.  

    I mean, if independent observers can identify  fig367‘s  behaviour as inappropriate, then so can other people.   If independent observers can tell that  fig367‘s  posts to me represent his grudge and nothing else, then they can probably tell a lot of other things too.

All of that feels  incredibly  validating!   After all, fig367  has been  such  an ongoing pain in my unconsenting hole for such a long time, and I’ve been targeted with so much additional crap by so many people blaming me for  his  behaviour.   And the people who could have done something about it were claiming to be my friends on the one hand and standing by and doing a whole lot of  fuck all  on the other.

Even one single independent observer doing that one simple act of deleting that post and emailing me positively about it has boosted my confidence enormously.   That single event helped me to feel that my chosen path might actually benefit somebody, in some way, someday.

    I can continue on, knowing that.


About Lady Lubyanka

I am a 45 year old musician, and also a multisexual, polyamourous, Jewish, socially dominant woman within my romantic BDSM relationships.
This entry was posted in correspondence, Respect, The Scene, Validation. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Crap Update – Validation

  1. Pingback: Oy Vey « Lady Lubyanka

  2. It just goes to show, there are decent people out there. I’m glad that an impartial person has shown that the crap you’ve put up with is the result of a personal vendetta. Not that some of us needed showing, of course.

Spill yo oh-PIN-yunz after the tone ...

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