Moderator Mails – Part The First

 

 

 
This first message is a post I’d written and submitted for publication in bdsmireland-personals.   I was responding to a post from another member in which he wanted to know why nobody had taken him up on any of his previous sexual solicitations.   I wrote the following message in response.
 

 
From:   Lubyanka
Subject:   Re: [bdsmireland-personals] Why no follow up
Date:   11 February 2009 15:55:42 GMT
To:   bdsmireland-personals@yahoogroups.com
 
In case you find it useful, I offer my take on why you’ve had no follow up on your situation.

I’m sure you genuinely feel that you are making a sincere offer.   However, asking a non-pro man to whip and fuck you sounds less like an offer, and more like a specific request (at least to me).   If you have had responses from pro doms, perhaps this might be because like me, your messages read to them like specific services you’re seeking.

If you want a relative stranger to whip and fuck you, then that will limit your choice of possible partners to those who prefer to be on the other side of that scenario. If you want a relative stranger to whip and fuck you, and you seek only a relative stranger to specifically whip and fuck you in particular, then perhaps a pro might be your best option.

After all, pro doms offers BDSM as a service, and they can fulfill all of the criteria you’re seeking.

On the other hand, if you feel that you can be flexible about the activities you want to participate in, and if you feel that you can include another person’s desires in your fantasy scenarios, then this is likely to appeal to a much larger group of potential partners.

I wish you luck, I hope you find somebody.

Best regards,

Lubyanka.

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From:   fig367
Subject:   Message not approved: Why no follow up
Date:   11 February 2009 22:16:02 GMT
To:   Lubyanka
 
not relevent as he’s asking for guys

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From:   Lubyanka
Subject:   Re: Message not approved: Why no follow up
Date:  11 February 2009 23:35:25 GMT
To:   bdsmireland-personals-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
Although the guy was seeking other guys for sex, according to the subject line he was generally asking “Why no follow up”, which is what I was answering.

It seems a shame that my message was rejected because its author has a vagina.

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From:   fig367
Subject:   Message not approved: Why no follow up
Date:  12 February 2009 20:26:06 GMT
To:   Lubyanka
 
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your post was not relevent because your post was talking about girls.

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From:   Lubyanka
Subject:   Re: Message not approved: Why no follow up
Date:  12 February 2009 20:47:23 GMT
To:  bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
Where was I solely talking about women?

Lady Lubyanka’s blogfestness
Food, Flogging, and Rubber Chickens
(celebrating the spleen)
featuring Irving as the rubber chicken
https://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/

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  • The next day I began receiving abusive contact from  fig367,  perpetrated under his  dunravin2002  sock puppet alias.   He sent me his  abuse  messages on 13, 17 and 25 February.
     
    Ten days after that, the first email from  valpone_a  arrived.
  •  

     
    From:   Valpone
    Subject:   Moderator Request
    Date:   7 March 2009 12:31:03 GMT
    To:   Lubyanka
    Cc:   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
     
    Dear Lubyanka

    If I may take this time to introduce myself.   I’m Valpone and I’m one of the BDSM Ireland Moderators.   I realize that we have not met in person and have had no contact before this e-mail.   It has fallen to me to contact you with regards to recent posts and activity within the group.

    It is clear that you are not happy with the way the group is moderated you have spent a lot of time and energy making your many points to not only the Moderators but to the world at large via your blog.   Personally I have no great interest in the blogging activity you have been undertaking other than as proof of your deep dissatisfaction with the way we work as Moderators.

    BDSM Ireland is not the only group that operates in Ireland there are other groups which you may be happier to be associated with, alternatively you may wish to spend some of your energy and time in a more constructive way and form your own group to run as you wish.   That would better demonstrate you’re ideas of how a group should be run.   Whichever way you may wish to move in the future it will not be with BDSM Ireland.

    I am as you may already have guessed requesting that you remove yourself from the BDSM Ireland   Group’s.   If you have any questions please feel free to contact me as I will be the sole contact for you from this point onwards.   No other Moderator will be responding to your e-mails.

    If I may take this moment to wish you luck in your future efforts

    Regards

    Valpone

    Moderator BDSM Ireland and BDSM Ireland Personals

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  • The following is a post in the bdsmireland yahoo group which  valpone_a  published about 36 seconds after he sent the above message to me.
  •  
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    From:   valpone_a
    Subject:   [bdsmireland] Moderator Notice
    Date:   7 March 2009 12:31:39 GMT
    To:   bdsmireland@yahoogroups.com
     
    The moderators would like to state that we try very hard not to let our personal opinions interfere in the posts going through, even if the topic or the poster is distasteful to us.   We do not limit the right to free speech or peoples opinions outside the group guidelines ie, its legal, it’s not going to start / continue a flame war, it infringes a members’ right to privacy by naming them or describing them in such a way that they would be easily identifiable, or you have put your phone number in by mistake.   Normally we would reject these posts with the reason why and either ask for a repost, or for the topic to be taken offline.
    The moderators attempt to to be fair and impartial, and this takes much work and nail chewing behind the scenes when we have to read each post and decide to pass or reject it.

    If you feel that we have broken these guidelines and you are being unfairly restricted, then please feel free to set up your own group and run it as you think it should be done.   We have never stopped or attempted to stop any other groups / organisations and do not feel that we are or should be the ‘only sweetshop in town’.

    It seems that some members do feel they have been unfairly restricted or put upon, and are not happy being members of BDSM-Ireland. .   The group is not a democracy, (we might have mentioned this before), so we can (and have done) ask people to leave the group as they are having a major negative effect on other members by their behaviour  –  Not because we don’t like them, and not because we don’t agree with their point of view, but because they have not respected group guidelines or other group members.

    With regards to certain allegations that have been raised, we have investigated, and we are satisfied that they are not true.   IF there is any evidence that we have missed, then please let us know BY PRIVATE EMAIL and we will re-open the investigation.

    Finally, please remember that moderators are people too, we have feelings, and we work damn hard at a sometimes thankless task and all we get is people taking potshots at us as we rejected one of their emails, or we looked at them funny at a munch, or you just didn’t like what we may/may not have been wearing at a fetish party.   We try our hardest to keep a civil board, organise munches where people can meet in safety, and then have our own safety and personal reputations put at risk by people either by mistake or maliciously.

    Thats about it.   If you want to respond to us, please do so, if you wish to leave the group after this message, good luck.   If you are staying  –  thanks and hopefully we can move on from this.

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  • I think it’s  really  unfortunate that the bdsmireland/Nimhneach organisers feel so unthanked for all the trouble they take.
     
    I remember reading some stuff about reputations before.
     
    Anyhow, two days later, this arrived.
  •  
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    From:   Valpone
    Subject:   Re: Moderator Request
    Date:   9 March 2009 08:34:38 GMT
    To:   Lubyanka
    Cc:   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
     
    Hello Lubyanka

    I was hoping for a reply from you before today but as I have not received one as yet I thought a gentle reminder may be in order.   I’m away on Holiday today and will not be near an Internet connection for the next two weeks.   Not the best timing in the world but it cant be helped.   As stated in my earlier e-mail I will be the only moderator dealing with you and your posts from this point onwards.   Again sorry as this will place a delay on any of our correspondence.

    Regards

    Valpone

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  • This whole message confused me.   Honestly, I didn’t know what he wanted or expected me to reply to.   Reminder of what?
     
    valpone_a  asked no questions, made a number of statements, and presented each statement as a fait accompli.   It seemed quite clear to me that all of his statements were closed to any and all discussion.   The whole message left me feeling quite confident that whatever was going to happen was going to happen without my input.
     
    (as indeed it did)
     
    valpone_a‘s  assumption that I would feel some compulsion to argue or debate a closed matter was obviously misplaced.   But without any actual invitation to discuss or negotiate, I didn’t know what  valpone_a  was expecting me to say.
     
    So I said nothing.
     
    Since restrictions were imposed on me in bdsmireland without warning or any specified reason, I thought it would be prudent to check whether any similar restrictions would be imposed on me at Nimhneach on 14 March, before perhaps finding out at the door of the event.   So I sent the following message to request clarification.
  •  

     
    From:   Lubyanka
    Subject:   Nimhneach
    Date:   12 March 2009 18:15:51 GMT
    To:   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
     
    I sent this yesterday, and I see that fig367 is active on bdsmireland at the moment.   I hope it didn’t go to spam, so I will try again.

    From:   Lubyanka
    Subject:   Nimhneach
    Date:   11 March 2009 23:58:49 GMT
    To:   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com

    Since my assigned personal moderator is without internet, and since in any case valpone_a is unrelated to the administration of Nimhneach, I hope you will do me the courtesy of responding to this message.

    As on every other night I’ve attended Nimhneach over the past few years, I have no personal intentions other than to enjoy myself.

    I would appreciate knowing explicitly if I would be welcome, and that there is no intent to hassle me from either organisers or crew.   Am I banned from Nimhneach?   If I arrived at Nimhneach, would I be turned away at the door?

    Sincerely,

    Lubyanka.

    Lady Lubyanka’s blogfestness
    Food, Flogging, and Rubber Chickens
    (celebrating the spleen)
    featuring Irving as the rubber chicken
    https://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/

    Any messages sent to me may be published on my blog.

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    From:   fig367
    Subject:   Re: Nimhneach
    Date:   13 March 2009 10:17:07 GMT
    To:   Lubyanka
     
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    hi Lubyanka,

    Valphone should reply to your email on behalf of the bdsmireland moderators in due course.

    Its only due to me being a mod on bdsmirland and a nimhneach organiser that I saw your email. Nimhneach and bdsmireland are seperate entities and your email should have been sent to fetish@fetish.ie or via the email facility on
    http://www.nimhneach.ie

    Regards your query, myself and the crew have no issue with your presence at nimhneach for the saturday 14th March 2009 event.

    regards
    Fig
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    About Lady Lubyanka

    I am a 45 year old musician, and also a multisexual, polyamourous, Jewish, socially dominant woman within my romantic BDSM relationships.
    This entry was posted in Consent, correspondence, Dublin, exclusion, fuckwitism, fuckwits, fuckwittedness, Respect, The Scene. Bookmark the permalink.

    4 Responses to Moderator Mails – Part The First

    1. Pingback: Moderator Mails – Part The Second « Lady Lubyanka

    2. Pingback: Stuff I Didn’t Say – The Train Wreck « Lady Lubyanka

    3. Pingback: More Parroting « Lady Lubyanka

    4. Pingback: Socialisement! | Lady Lubyanka

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