New Group

Did you know that if you make a yahoo group in the BDSM category, yahoo forbids the use of the word “BDSM” in the group name, description, or email subject tag?   When I tried to use it, I got this error message:

    “… description/name/tag contains a word ‘bdsm’ which is not permitted.”

So although they have a “BDSM”  category,  they forbid using the name of that category to describe groups in that category.  

Well, whatever.

Anyhow, the point of all this is that I’ve started up a yahoo group.

Since the new group I announced in my Bombshells post is now closed, I’ve started one up myself so that at least one viable alternative will be available.

I welcome all of the BDSM community in Ireland to this group without exception.

So far I have two rules:

  1. All rules apply equally to members and moderators alike
  2. All members must express themselves respectfully

In future I will make a specific list of what  “express respectfully”  includes and excludes.   Until then, I will be using Rules I Live By as a guide.

If you want a viable alternative to the existing BDSM groups, then please do jump in to help this one get off the ground.   Your first few posts will be moderated to prevent the spread of vitriol such as I have been receiving on this blog lately.   After that you will be able to post freely whenever you feel like it.

However, I make absolutely  no  promises about the amount of time and effort I’m going to invest in this new group.   It’s there if you want it.

So let’s see what happens now.   :)

About Lady Lubyanka

I am a 45 year old musician, and also a multisexual, polyamourous, Jewish, socially dominant woman within my romantic BDSM relationships.
This entry was posted in BDSM, inclusion, The Scene. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to New Group

  1. Pingback: Update 9 - Bombshells « Lady Lubyanka

  2. Leandrai says:

    You asked me to say something about the birth and demise of “IrishBDSM”, but, to be honest, there is very little to say. I am sure I have said most of it twice already anyway.

    Since I found out how little the people I knew in BDSMIreland really thought of me, under all the fake, patronising, gestures of affection, almost two years ago, I honestly only needed to get away and forget I ever knew them, because that is the only way I have ever been able to deal with things that hurt me or make me angry.

    As far as I can see if you don’t like a big fat clumsey, middle aged, autistic (who won’t even make themselves useful by “putting out” BTW), or want them around, you can’t help how you feel, and you are entitled to feel that way, but for me, the unkindest cut of all was being mislead about that…until I let my defenses down in a way I never usually, just in time to learn the truth…

    A I needed to do was forget these people ever existed…but it took a while to face it all, then I got dragged back by someone who (rather misguidedly) thought they could use me to gain some kind of “influence” in the community. It was easier to go along with that than figure a way to avoid it…as a result, I also came to learn just what kind of people they really were.

    I was horrified then, and I am still horrified now.

    Self-absorbed, self-deluded, totally unscrupulous…

    If I get too far into details I will get us all into trouble…but enough to say that, to realise what goes on behind the facade of telling the world how “wonderful”, “tolerant” and “caring” they are, made me incandescent with rage…

    So that, when they turned on you, I just wanted to fix it…in some crazy, idealistic way, to make them see that they were really hurting, a real human being, who really did not deserve to be hurt…

    I suppose I had some Hollywood Christmas fantasy of them all suddenly waking up to reality and saying:

    “Oh my GOD what are we DOING???” and making it right before lunchtime…

    So…I wound up, burning myself out, trying to build a group of people who would never want me around, any more than I would ever want to be around them, trying to (literally) be three different people to keep my personal issues, and any issues people have with me, out of it…so it would be scrupluously fair…

    It was burning me up, and it was a hiding to nowhere at that…I think all I actually achieved was to convince at least one innocent bystander that I had totally raised the bar on playing the very kind of games I hate most…while losing the plot at mach I.

    I also have a life that was steadily eroding under me, even though I could never even want, much less need, any part of the community I was putting so much into building.

    Last night I sat there, stone cold sober, with my hands shaking, strung out like piano wire and realised that the first sane decision I would ever make about any of this would be to drop it all…FAST…before I melted down too far to handle anything I need to in MY life at all.

    So I did.

    I am glad you have decided to start a group now, that is as it should be. You want to be involved, and be part of things…I just want to forget that I ever knew any of these people…so I can stop looking at things I cannot change that make me livid, calm down and get on with my own life while I still have one.


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