Does anybody here remember that I had a life with Normal Crap in it before all this Recent Crap started? Well, here’s some Normal Crapness for you to snack on. :)
For a long time there were things I didn’t write about on my blog, even though I wanted to. I did write about some of them after they happened, but there were a significant number of things I never mentioned at all.
I had a stalker who was reading (and may still be reading) this blog, and he and his friends persisted their harassment of me and kvetch for several years. So for our own safety, and the safety of the people whom I associated with, I didn’t write about events, people, or locations which could have been vulnerable to harassment.
The stalker began his campaign in December 2006. I started this blog in April 2007, and there was an experience I wanted to write about which happened in August, 2006. I waited til the end of September 2007 to write about that, which was over a year after the event, and ten months after the stalker began targeting me and kvetch.
Three weeks after I published the post, the stalker and his friends started peppering me with comments, private emails, and assorted other things. So after that I kept certain topics off my blog completely. This was annoying, but unfortunately necessary.
Having a stalker also meant that I was unable to safely share my identity as the owner of a dominant women’s group. I waited a long time to start that group because of the stalker, but I finally just went ahead with it in January 2008. For a long time, I told nobody about that group, not even my friends. It is hard to attract members to a new group whilst at the same time keeping it relatively low key.
But it only took a month before somebody took it upon themselves to out us in bdsmireland (which the stalker also was reading). And any chance we had of keeping myself, kvetch, and prospective members safe during group activities was seriously fucked.
- Note – The bdsmireland moderators were all fully aware of the stalker, his behaviour, his friends, their helpfully stalky assistance, and all of their memberships in bdsmireland. Did they enforce any of their rules about unconsensual contact between members? Did they, fuck. According to the moderators’ messages to me, they consider that consent – if given once on one occasion for one specific thing – can never be withdrawn or declined on other occasions for other specific things. Good for them.
Other Note – Considering that somebody was so curious about who was behind Women In Charge, somebody somehow neglected to actually ask the group in question. I know this, because I never had one single message from her to the group, ever. Instead, somebody decided to publicly ask a different, unrelated group who we were. Go figure. Good thinking, somebody.
So thanks to somebody, we were subject to harassment from the stalker even before the first meet. Thanks to somebody, the stalker’s awareness of the group did enable him to contact the group pretending to be a dominant woman. Thanks to somebody, the stalker sought details of the next meet in order to harass myself, kvetch, and any prospective members who turned up. Unfortunately for us, I failed to catch the ruse in time and disclosed the next meet details to him.
And although the stalker thankfully didn’t directly approach any of us, thanks to somebody giving him a heads up in bdsmireland he was hiding and watching us from somewhere we couldn’t see, which is even creepier. I know this because I got contact attempts from him afterwards.
Great. Thanks a lot, somebody. As a direct result of your actions, you exposed myself, kvetch, and every single prospective member to significant risks which could all have been avoided if you’d simply asked us what you wanted to know.
- Tip – If you want to know who somebody is? Ask them first.
This is not rocket science.
At any rate, the point I am getting to (if you haven’t guessed already) is that after all that, I am hoping that it is now safe to identify myself as the owner of that group I started.
- Hello world, my name is Lubyanka, and I am the creator, owner, and administrator of the group known as
Women In Charge – A group celebrating womanly dominance and all those who admire, serve, and are inspired by it.
And if the stalker decides that he hasn’t finished with his activities? Well, I’m out now. Let’s see what happens.