The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast Of Tra-la-la-laaa

Today’s theme is the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.   You see, I’ve been noticing increasingly recurring behaviour which appears to be based on the assumptions that

  1. if  I  can’t see  them,  then  they  can’t see  me,  and
  2. if they pretend I’m not there  (I can’t hear you, la la la),  then I can’t see them  (even if I stand on a chair).

So, if  fig367  omits his name from an email  (which he writes and sends to me),  and omits mentioning my name in that email  (even if he leaves my name in as part of my message which he quotes in his reply),  then he’ll be invisible to me?

Obviously, that logic is flawed, and is based on an erroneous interpretation of the facts.   However, the following email is nonsensical  unless  that premise is taken into account.  

(at which point it becomes sensical)

Finally  –  Invisible Emailery

Subject:   Re: Nimhneach
Date:   1 April 2009 19:12:59 IST
To:   Lubyanka
Hash: SHA1


You are receiving this email as the Nimhneach response in regards
to attendance at our event.

All guests, who have not been previously informed otherwise, may
gain entry to the next event on meeting the appropriate dress code.
The guidelines for the club are on our website at



    From:   Lubyanka
    To:   Fig,
    Subject:   Nimhneach
    Date:   Wed, 25 Mar 2009 10:58:30 +0000
    Since it appears that my previous mail may have gone astray, I will
    try again.

    Please confirm if the sanctions you have implemented against me
    apply to Nimhneach.
    Will I be welcome at Nimhneach in future?

    Lady Lubyanka’s blogfestness
    Food, Flogging, and Rubber Chickens
    (celebrating the spleen)
    featuring Irving as the rubber chicken

    Any messages sent to me may be published on my blog.

Charset: UTF8
Note: This signature can be verified at
Version: Hush 3.0

Serious Derangement

Is anybody in any doubt whatsoever that this message was written and sent by  fig367?   Ok, let’s go through this derangement step by step, shall we?

  1. fig367  is the  only one I know  who uses hushmail.
  2. fig367  is the  only one I know  who uses the hushmail PGP encryption for messages they send to me.
  3. fig367  cannot even address me by name, even though his message is addressed to me and quotes my message in the body of his response.
  4. fig367  for some reason feels compelled to sign his message with a different name again, in the style of sock puppets everywhere.
    (“Nimhneach”?!   Since when can an event write an email?!)
  5. Who told  fig367  that like the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast Of Traal  –  if he won’t see me, then I can’t see him?   Good luck with that.
  6. fig367  abdicates all responsibility for saying anything specific  –  everything he says is a general plural, and he also shies away from specifying who or what:
    • You  [whom?]  are receiving this email  [written and sent by whom?]  as the Nimhneach response  [who is ‘Nimhneach’?]   [response to what?]  in regards to attendance  [whose attendance?]  at our  [who is ‘our’?]  event.   All guests  [oh, not me, just anybody, even though this message was composed and sent directly to me]who have not been previously informed otherwise  [informed of what?]   [informed by whom?]may gain entry  [allowed entry by whom?]  to the next event on meeting the appropriate dress code  [who is meeting the appropriate dress code?].   The guidelines for the club are on our website at
  7. fig367  refers me to the Nimhneach guidelines and dress code on the Nimhneach website as if
    • he wasn’t writing specifically to me  (despite quoting my message in his reply sent directly to me)
    • he didn’t know perfectly well who I am
    • he didn’t know perfectly well that  I know him   (no matter how much he’d rather I didn’t know him and his sock puppets)
    • he didn’t know perfectly well that I have been to Nimhneach many times
    • he didn’t know perfectly well that I have  always  respected the Nimhneach rules and dress code  without exception
    • rules are so meaningful to him that he would  never even think  of transgressing any himself  (unless you count banning me from bdsmireland, which was in direct transgression of  those  rules)
  8. Why is  fig367  telling me about Nimhneach’s  general  door policy about  all  Nimhneach attendees, when I was  actually  asking about whether  I specifically  am welcome there?


Other Oddities

My original question was if I was welcome at Nimhneach.   All that was required was a “yes” or a “no”.   Mostly what I got was controlling crap directing me to and from email addresses  –  use this  (which I had done)  and don’t use that  (oh well, sue me).   And then I tried again, and  valpone_a   (under the direction of  fig367)   moved the goalposts.


Actually, there was no need for  fig367  to even write to me at all.   I informed  fig367  that I plan to attend Nimhneach in future, that I expect him to welcome me there, and that his complete agreement with this would be understood  unless  he chose to write to me to express otherwise.

    And  fig367‘s  message  did  express agreement with what I originally said.

So why write me that bizarre message, declining to address me by name  (despite quoting my original message in his response),  declining to sign his own name  (despite his  fig367  identity being perfectly obvious),  declining to take any personal responsibility for anything he wrote in his message  (sock puppet style),  and pretending to be the personification of Nimhneach  (which is an event, not a person)?   Is there a psychiatrist in the house?!

Still, I did get an answer in the end, which is the main thing.   I now know that I  am  welcome at Nimhneach.  

    Now all that’s left to do for the bdsmireland moderators including  fig367  –  remove your ban against me  in bdsmireland.

    Respect your own rules.   Lift the ban.

I’m glad that’s all cleared up.

About Lady Lubyanka

I am a 45 year old musician, and also a multisexual, polyamourous, Jewish, socially dominant woman within my romantic BDSM relationships.
This entry was posted in correspondence, Dublin, exclusion, fuckwit, fuckwitism, fuckwittedness, inclusion, The Scene, Validation. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast Of Tra-la-la-laaa

  1. Leandrai says:

    Cool it Lubyanka… at this point even brain dead people can see that this is Figlet, and he is leaving himself an option on causing you significant distress by refusing you admission to Nimhneach because you have your red hanky in the wrong pocket or somesuch, people DO this stuff, read on:

    Looking back, objectively, I may well have been even more thoroughly excluded than you were, but because I never expect any better from people anyway, I don’t think I really noticed.

    I was certainly never included in anything.

    I can’t resist sharing yet another example of the “beloved, special, wonderful Irish BDSM community” with you.

    This is from a response to my leaving the community (I won’t identify the sender, who it was doesn’t really matter)


    I am saddened that you feel this way.

    Some lines from the late John O’Donoghue:

    “May you be blessed with good friends.
    May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.
    May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where there is great love, warmth, feeling and forgiveness.
    May this change you.
    May it transfigure that which is negative, distant or cold in you.
    May you be brought into the real passion, kinship and affinity of belonging.
    May you treasure your friends.
    May you be good to them and may you be there for them; may they bring you all the blessings, challenges, truth and light that you need for your journey.
    May you never be isolated; but may you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your anam cara.”
    My heart remains open to you, and I sincerely hope we’ll share laughs and giggles again,


    Seems so truly “beloved, special and wonderful” doesn’t it?

    Until you realise the sender detested me to the extent that I was the only person not invited to their engagement party, though they even invited near strangers.

    Don’t get me wrong, nobody HAS to like me, or invite me to their parties…chances are, I would probably rather be left at home, reading my library book anyway. A lot of people don’t like me, and, last I heard, it wasn’t even a social faux pas, let alone a crime, but it was the beginning of the end for me when I found that out. If people can’t stand having me around I find it unbearably humiliating to stay around…end of.

    …but there is something deeply sick about sending that kind of sentimental waffle to someone you don’t even really want around.

    It’s like a “cat and mouse” game at the expense of my autistic limitations (of which the sender was fully informed), intended to suck me back in just to be able to exclude me some more…as though “being excluded” had become my role in the community, and the community liked it. I guess that, sometimes, no matter how much people don’t want you around, they don’t want you to be the one to do the rejecting?

    I was disgusted.

    Something else that horrified me was when one of the list mods (who should be old enough to know better) introduced me to a guy who had just thrown his girlfriend through a plate glass window once too often, and presented him as a “dear friend and a great guy”. Fortunately for me, I didn’t find him remotely attractive, and not just because he was drunk.

    It still really upsets me that this woman I barely know, and have never harmed in any way, was content to place me at that kind of risk, for what reason I cannot imagine, maybe I did something that offended her without realising, but I can’t see how, I hardly knew her?

    The horrible part is that, because of the existing monopoly, unless you accept that kind of toxic behaviour and whatever role the community assigns you, you will, effectively be excluded from the entire Irish fetish community.

    Doesn’t bother me…I am an autistic recluse…associating with the BDSM community was the first, and last, attempt I will ever make to interact within a group.

    It wasn’t worth the effort and distress to me and the experiment will never be repeated.

    But for most people, who have a kink in their nature and a perfectly normal need for the validation of a community, that degree of exclusion would be devastating.

    It seems to me that there is no point in “appealing to better nature”, or expecting change…the only answer is to break out of the monopoly and create an alternative community.

  2. Tom Allen says:

    Respect your own rules. Lift the ban.

    The Vogons would have wanted it that way.

  3. Ben Kavanagh says:

    May I make a positive here bdsmireland and Nimhneach are for most in Ireland I for one am taking a rest from fetish for now all this negativism does not do anyone any good bdsmireland will florish and I know some of them. Suits most Fetishists and Nimhneach caters for more it has grown from the days in Baggot Street. I for one wish them well. I took myself off there Groups and do not see myself going back. I still am a Dominant Sod. Respect

  4. Pingback: Welcome to the hit series - Attack, Marginalise, and Exclude! « Lady Lubyanka

  5. Pingback: Moderator Mails – Part The Second « Lady Lubyanka

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