Update 22 – What It Means To Be Banned From BDSMIreland

I just realised that most of you won’t appreciate what it means to be banned from the bdsmireland yahoo group.   This is not just an online group.   The moderators of this group control nearly every BDSM event in the country.  

This includes

  • every munch in the Republic of Ireland
  • every pre-Nimhneach drinks meeting
  • every “unofficial”  (known as “forbidden munches”)  drinks meeting
  • every workshop  (except my own, presumably)

I also cannot announce my own workshops or any events I organise myself to the largest  (and pretty much the only)  BDSM audience in Ireland.   And all this despite the fact that I respected every one of their rules, without exception.

I have asked if I am banned from Nimhneach, and am awaiting a reply on that.

Exclusion is vile.

About Lady Lubyanka

I am a 45 year old musician, and also a multisexual, polyamourous, Jewish, socially dominant woman within my romantic BDSM relationships.
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20 Responses to Update 22 – What It Means To Be Banned From BDSMIreland

  1. Leandrai says:

    Hang on in there…people are struggling to change that horrible, cruel, childish, little game of Monopoly…

    It’s all very well for them to say “If you don’t like us, you are better off without us”…

    But they are the ones who remorselessly sabotage and/or assimilate anything they consider to be a challenge to their monopoly…and they are the ones who decided to pick YOU to be this year’s designated target…

    It’s is a sad fact that any dysfunctional social group relies heavily on arbitrarily targetting individuals as “examples” to keep the rest in line…and the stronger, and better the target, the more people you keep in line.

    It must be cold comfort, but if you were lesser, or weaker, someone else would have been the target instead.

  2. Sully says:

    I’m so sorry to read about your troubles with the BDSMIreland infants. Or maybe I should say I’m sorry THEY have issues with YOU. Perhaps they find a strong, intelligent woman SCARY and INTIMIDATING.

  3. Sully says:

    When will they start burning books that don’t suit them? I WANT BOOK BURNINGS!!!

  4. Sully says:

    I want PUBLIC book burnings! And uniforms, and marching, and cool salutes, and…

    “I vas just following orders”

  5. Sully says:

    NO, that DOESN’T count!
    I can’t toast marshmallows at a public book DISSING!

    • That’s true, dissing doesn’t toast marshmallows, heh. I wondered where this was going   :)

      I feel one of those form letters coming on  – 

      “Dear Mr Sully,   Thank you for your interest in fuckwitism.   We regret to inform you that unfortunately, this particular variety of fuckwit are as rotten as they appear, without mitigation or amusement of any kind.   We thank you for your application, and we wish you every success with your other fuckwit candidates, as well as with your future searches for enjoyable fuckwittedness.   Sincerely,   Floppy O’Flatulence”

  6. Leandrai says:

    Dear old Jay Wiseman…I remember him from the heyday of soc.sub.bondage.bdsm. Glad to hear someone is still sane enough to respect him:

    —– Original Message —–
    From: “Mistress xxxxxxx”
    To: “Leandrai”
    Sent: Wednesday, Jan 14, 2009 11:32 PM
    Subject: Jay Wiseman is PREACHY??
    This is a bit strong isn’t it?
    Re: new years resolutions and new experiences…….(information request)

      On 12 Jan 2009, at 13:02, seano1999 wrote:
    Avoid Jay wiseman; hes a quare preachy fucker.
      On 13 Jan 2009, at 16:29,  dublinswitch  wrote:

    Not even mid-january and we have a nomination for quote of the year!
    Great big munch on Sat, was nice to catch up with everyone,

      On 13 Jan 2009, at 18:04,  fig367  wrote:

    Here’s some of the examples of preachyness – on breath play.

    What planet do these idiots live on? They don’t even seem to need brains to be dangerous.
    Particularly when you remember that it is not so very long since by his own confession, Dubliner Michael Bambrick managed to kill two partners with accidental asphixiation during bondage sessions.

  7. Pingback: Workshopness Report « Lady Lubyanka

  8. username says:

    re Michael Bambrick, in that article it does not say he admited to killing the women accidentially, it only says the cause of death is unascertainable, which is different to a confession of accidential killing. his actions afterwards certainly do not suggest and accident, since he wore their lipstick and clothes out and then returned home to dismember them. Judging by his actions I wouldnt think he was into breathplay in the tradional sense, more the serial killer sense. He also had denied knowing the women were dead when asked by police, again that doesnt sound much like an accident, let alone confessing to it. He is getting released this friday, so if anyone wants to test how he practices breathplay, nows your chance.

  9. Leandrai says:

    I have to say, it is not the most persuasive argument I have ever heard for ignoring “boring old Jay Wiseman” on the topic of “breath control”…

  10. username says:

    @Leandrai, I didnt involve Jay wiseman or argue for or against his opinions on breath play, read what i said again carefully. i corrected what lubyanka said in her orinigal post about bambrick ‘accidentally’ killing two women, when judged by his actions it doesnt sound like an accident. nothing to do with Jay wiseman. seeing as you ‘have to say’, why do you actually use your eyes first and read what was actually written first. it was a correction of an incident, not an argument about ‘breath control’. but if you want to discuss it with him, be my guest.

  11. Thank you for the clarification,  username.   I’d like to add a few clarifications of my own:

    1.   I didn’t mention Michael Bambrick,  Leandrai  did in her comment time-date stamped “Thursday, 26 March, 2009 at 13:46:18”.

    2.   The way I read  Leandrai‘s  comment, I thought she was referring to the original remarks about the “quare preachy fucker”ness of Jay Wiseman, and that incidents such as the one with Michael Bambrick failed to support the “quare preacky fucker” position.

    3.   I appreciated your input and I’m glad you highlighted the very important distinction between “breath play” and “serial killer”.

  12. Oh, also, I’d like to highlight the fact that BDSM in whatever form can be and often is used as a disguise for abuse in many forms, and that those abusive behaviours remain abusive whether they are called “BDSM” or not.

    “A rose by any other name…” and all that.   :)

  13. Leandrai says:

    “A rose by any other name…” and all that. :)

    But not so much when the nose and mouth are fully covered?

    Regardless, as he should be out at 7am on Friday, just in time to scurry off to “Miss Fs” and comply with the dress code to go “on the pull” at a certain event on Saturday, it seems an idea to post links to Michael Bambrick’s photograph?

    Just so that people can make “informed decisions” about new play partners…

    https://www.tribune.ie/article/2009/apr/05/double-killer-to-be-freed/ (photo, but not a good one)
    http://www.missingpersons-ireland.freepress-freespeech.com/MBambrick.htm (whacko site, better photo)

  14. Leandrai says:

    Just to cheer you up, I thought I would add a little codicil…

    Everybody really DOES “get theirs”, and, in this case, perhaps that is going to be sooner than expected…

    Lately a young Femsub, “sparkle8faery”, has started to quietly gain control of as many fetlife groups as possible, while schmoozing individuals like she thinks she is going to win some kind of election…

    She is moving really, really fast with this.

    This time last month, this same person tried to become my “new best friend” and get me to meet with her, apparently to form some kind of alliance.

    I declined (It was nothing personal, manipulative people give me migraine, and, besides, I really don’t want to be involved any more.) That doesn’t seem to have made her too happy…but then, I didn’t expect it to.

    I am convinced, by all that I have seen, that she is making a bid for control of the fetish community…in spite of her youth, even more convinced than I was about Fig367 in 2005.

    The people who hurt you may very well soon find themselves on the recieving end …the sad part is that it may well be as part of a change for the even worse.



  15. Leandrai says:

    The postscripts just go ON giving…

    Methinks some people doth protest too much:


    I’ll quote you the most relevant bit:

    As some disparaging and serious accusations had been made recently on Fetlife by certain people about safety at Nimhneach, I took it upon myself to carefully examine the equipment and organisation of the club with respect to safety.

    To put my ability to perform such an examination in context, I will state that I am a former safety officer for a major UK scientific and engineering research laboratory, and prior to that the union safety committee chairman for 17 years. I am NEBOSH (National Examination Board Occupational Safety and Health) certificated and also hold a role as a dungeon monitor for the UK’s Roissy Workshops dungeon hire company. Roissy run the dungeon play areas at Rapture in Birmingham and Club Lash in Manchester. I have been on the UK fetish scene for many years and run the Sound Punishment website.

    In my opinion, none of the equipment installed at Nimhneach was of a standard of construction that caused me any concerns whatsoever regarding its safety and durability if used as it was designed to be used. All the equipment was substantially built to withstand club use, and I also think it could take significant ‘abuse’. The use of the equipment was monitored by club staff and I saw nothing that caused me any concerns regarding safety of equipment or play.

    Nimhneach was also accused of permitting drug taking and I have to say, categorically, that I saw no such activity taking place. So the allegations made by certain persons are, in my, hopefully expert opinion, groundless on all counts and should be ignored.

    That’s nice, I wonder who made those allegations?

    Because I have never expressed any concern about the safety of the equipment, and neither have you to my knowledge.

    Concerns expressed to, and by me, soley concerned the woefully inadequate supervision, particularly of play, and the excessive use of alcohol in both play, where even little alcohol can be dangerous because of the degree of disinhibition and desensitisation not only to welfare of others, but also to one’s own pain and safety, and in supervision, which is surely something that can only be done effectively, sober?

    People came to me with serious concerns about drug abuse, which I passed on, but I haven’t seen any myself since late 2005, and haven’t claimed to…

    …which, of course, doesn’t mean it isn’t happening, just that I didn’t see it.

    My own concerns, as I expressed them before Christmas … does the above “report” address them? You be the judge…

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