Sock Puppetry Of The Dick – Update 2

 
Yesterday, I posted about my stats page, and the first ever hits from the anonymous browsing service which had suddenly appeared there out of nowhere.

Further to yesterday’s post, those hits have now ceased.
 
 

Thanks,  fig367.   :)

 

 

About Lady Lubyanka

I am a 45 year old musician, and also a multisexual, polyamourous, Jewish, socially dominant woman within my romantic BDSM relationships.
This entry was posted in Dublin, Failed Career Attempts, fuckwit, fuckwittedness, noodging, The Scene. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Sock Puppetry Of The Dick – Update 2

  1. I’ve been reading this with interest, having experience of similar situations from both sides of the moderation divide. You know of some of my experiences falling foul of an over zealous moderator, so I can certainly sympathise with your annoyance at what’s happened.

    What I find remarkable is how personally this character is taking things. When I deal with posts to any of the Yahoo! groups that I moderate, I try to be fair but I recognise that I’m only human and that cock-ups happen. If I get it wrong, I hope that I’m honest enough to admit it. In the end, I’m not going to lose any sleep over what I do as a moderator as it is something I do out of my spare time. If someone I personally dislike posts (occasionally I do dislike people) and it’s something I might not let through, I leave it for someone else to moderate.

    For someone to take any criticism of his moderator duties to heart so much that he needs to act as you have shown him to do suggests an unhealthy need to be seen to be right in all things, particularly with what seem to be increasingly frantic appeals that you just go along with him about his identity.

    It simply beggars belief for him to say what amounts to: “I’m not him and I’m fed up you think I am. I can easily prove it but on a whim I won’t, so there!” OK, I’m putting words into his mouth here, but really, that’s what it seems to me that he’s saying. If he’s that fed up with you accusing him of being someone else, why not go and prove it?

    The other thing that makes me wonder is the list of what a troublesome group member he thinks you are. I’ve seen you operate in a Yahoo! group and I’ve never seen anything you’ve done as being likely to prevent anyone posting. Unless, of course, being forthright and uncompromising in what you believe is terribly intimidating. Personally, I find your honesty in keeping true to yourself refreshing. If you’re such a problem, why doesn’t this moderator kick you from the group? The answer seems obvious: you aren’t a problem and that the problems you are suffering are as a result of the moderator’s personality clashing with yours and are exacerbated by his apparent need to gain validation by getting you to back down.

    Being an outsider, I don’t know the intricacies of the BDSM community in Ireland. However, it seems to me that it is badly served if the only electronic fora for discussion by that community are under the control of someone like that. I’d say that there needs to be an alternative.

  2. Hello Mr Longwidget,   :)

    You know, just for comic effect, I was tempted to address you something like

    Hello  Uncle Max   Cousin Saul  Unrelated Friend, how nice of you to drop by!
     
    But that would just be silly.   :)
     
     
    I’m sure you’ll be glad to know that in the past few days I have felt very much better about the situation I posted about.   I found the process of composing that long update post, to be quite challenging and therapeutic.   The post evolved through quite a few widely divergent incarnations before ending up as you see it now.

    After trying a few different approaches, and feeing not very good about them, I then began to consider outcomes.   That was when the post as it now is was born.   Questions such as you posed in your comment all came sharply into focus.   Questions like

    – Why  wasn’t  he using his own name?
    – If  any  of those things were true, why not just act on them, and be done with it?
    – Why bother expending all this time and energy on trolling me at all?
    – What outcome was he likely to be hoping for, and how would it benefit him?
     
     
    That question about spending time and energy on this was particularly bothering me.   This man has a new baby, his first child  (as far as I know).   As you are well  (and recently)  aware yourself, new babies eat up all your time and energy for breakfast and keep coming back for more.   So why wasn’t every bit of his spare time taken up with that?   What was it about trolling my blog that could possibly be so crucially important to him, that he willingly sacrificed precious time with his child?   That question bothered me a lot.

    I figured that for whatever reason, even though my behaviour is focused on myself and my personal goals, he considered my behaviour to be about him and being a thorn in his side.   So I concluded that his goal was probably to get me to back down out of his way so he could carry on treating me and others however the hell he wanted without further interference from me.   That goal must have been important enough to him to lead him to choose to sacrifice time with his growing baby.   I also knew that if I did back down, he would probably confirm the lessons he’s obviously learnt in the past, which taught him that this kind of behaviour gets him the results he wants.

    My experience of confirming this lesson is that I and others would likely be subject to much more abusive crap from him and others than I had experienced from him to date.   Other people have followed and do follow his example.   So I intended to avert that outcome if at all possible.

    With that in mind, I removed nearly all of my personal commentary, and with a bit of noodging, simply let him make my points for me.   I realised that his trolling was a gift in disguise, because essentially all I had to do was stand there like an Open University programme presenter in my geeky tweed jacket and snazzy bow tie and point out what the troll was doing in its natural habitat.   I also realised that his trolling would serve me well, in that he was demonstrating himself to everybody  far  better than I could  ever  describe him.

    The sock puppet was a special extra bonus feature.   In my experience, most sock puppeters usually juggle more than one puppet identity, so I think it’s likely that  fig367  has others.   Nevertheless, he’s clearly nurtured this one for a very long time, so the pleasure of outing  this  particular sock puppet identity, as well as outing  fig367‘s  sock puppet behaviour in general, was absolutely icing on the cake.   :)

    I felt very satisfied with that approach.   So after some polishing, the addition of some cute tooltips and such, I published the post.   He then did me the unexpected honour of unequivocally validating everything in that post with his seal of authenticity, not only by using that anonymous browsing service all of a sudden, but also by ceasing to use it just as suddenly after I posted about it.   I mean, he might as well have given me a notarised, signed and sealed document publicly acknowledging and advertising my accuracy and his culpability.

    The day before I published that long update post, I had been speaking with a friend who is also a friend of his.   I mentioned offhand that he’d been trolling on my blog.   My friend expressed genuine surprise that he would do such a thing, and part of that surprise was because my friend had never heard him say anything about that before.   I pointed out that adopting a secret identity to abuse people on teh intartoobz and big oneself up is hardly an activity a person would advertise.

    Hey, lookit, sometimes I pretend I’m somebody else, and then I go on teh intartoobz to say what a great guy I am as if I were an unrelated third party!   And sometimes I use that identity to be really shitty to people, and then I lie about it afterwards, isn’t that just the coolest thing??

    No.   I just don’t think that would be too popular, do you?
     
     
    For someone to take any criticism of his moderator duties to heart so much that he needs to act as you have shown him to do suggests an unhealthy need to be seen to be right in all things, particularly with what seem to be increasingly frantic appeals that you just go along with him about his identity.
     
    Bingo.  

    I felt that you were particularly accurate in the part about  seen  to be right”.   I felt that element was exceptionally clear in the part of his message I quoted in the game show section.   My experience of him is that most, if not all of his focus, priorities, and decision making are locked into his idea of how he appears to others.   He left little brown calling cards illustrating that all over that post.   His choice of terms such as “reputation”, “vindicated”, “taken seriously”, “look ridiculous”, and “credibility” all demonstrate that focus.  

    Because my priorities and decision making are built on completely different criteria to his, he’s never been able to successfully manipulate me with his usual strategies.   His consistent failures have clearly for whatever reason built him up to the frenzy of frustration you saw.   His recent behaviour which gave everything away must have been chosen to ease the strength of that frustration.

    At least, I hope it was only that, and not something more serious.   Anyhow, it didn’t work, so I hope he learnt from this to adopt a different approach.   I hope the approach he will continue to choose in future includes behaving respectfully to me and others, both in public and in private.
     
     
    I hope you, your Dark Lady, and your two spawnlings are thriving and happy.   :)

    Warm regards,

    Lubyanka.   :)

  3. ps:   After some consideration, I changed my mind, I don’t think his main goal was to stop me interfering with his behaviour, I think his primary fear and goal was to stop me from presenting those pesky inconvenient truths, and therefore interfering with  how others see him.

  4. I’ve been doing a lot learning about leadership recently. I don’t mean the usual management bollocks that gets touted all too often by the paradigm pushers, but real learning, based upon careful observation and considered evaluative thought.

    In other words, I had the paradigms pushed at me, found them wanting and so decided to research on my own, by watching the effective and the ineffectual leaders that surround me. In that process, I learned a few unpleasant truths about myself too, but then, at least I’ve been able to do something about my less admirable traits.

    Anyway, the main thing I learned was that people who are effective, not just as leaders but as worthwhile humans (sounds a bit judgmental, I know but I can’t think of a better way of phrasing it) are concerned with doing things right, irrespective of how it looks. The ineffectual are concerned with doing things that look right irrespective of the efficacy or morality of their actions.

    In other words, the ineffectual prize the appearance of being in the right above all things and are threatened by those who actually do the right thing. Such people make a great play of wanting to avoid public conflict and will be ferocious- privately- in defending their image of how others perceive them. I think your sock-puppeteer is acting not just to reserve how others think of him, but also how he thinks of himself.

    Thanks for your kind wishes about my Dark Lady, Spawn and Monster. We just got back from a week in Greece and we’re all relaxed and mellow- aside from Spawn who’s a little grumpy as he’s teething. So, yes, things are good.

    All the Best,

    Haldo

  5. Pingback: Sock Puppet Crap - Update 3 « Lady Lubyanka

  6. Pingback: Sock Puppet Update 6 « Lady Lubyanka

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