Eager To Learn – The Rant

Eager to learn is a phrase I come across a lot.   I don’t know if it similarly turns up as frequently in other places, but I do know that I often encounter it in kink circles.
And the people within the kink scene from whom I habitually get this phrase the most?   Almost exclusively inexperienced male bottoms, who are seeking people to indulge their desires for kinky erotic experiences.
Now, take learning.   Normally, I regard learning as Of The Goodness™.   I am all in favour of lots of learning going around.

I put enthusiasm for learning equally into that same Of The Goodness™ category.

    My problem is sort of like when people claim to be open minded  –  in my experience, the more a person claims to be open-minded, the less likely that is to be true.   I feel like this is one of those situations where deeds are infinitely more credible than words.


“Eager To Learn” Is Redundant

Now, ask yourselves seriously  –  do you honestly know any person who

  • considers themselves to be closed-minded or unwilling to learn?
  • refers to themselves as closed-minded or disinterested in learning?
  • advertises themselves to others as closed-minded or unwilling to learn?

I mean, for fuck’s sake, EVERYBODY thinks they’re open-minded and eager to learn!   The most bigoted people I’ve ever met honestly consider themselves to be inclusive, open-minded people, open to new ideas and interested in learning new things.  
Just ask around.   You’ll see.

That Sinking Feeling


    In my experience, when a male newcomer to kink says he’s eager to learn, a sinking feeling grows in the pit of my stomach.   I know from past experience that his most likely intention is that

  • eager to learn anything  =  “harden my dick for me pls k thx.”
    In my experience, if “anything” doesn’t get his dick hard, then in that case

  • eager to learn anything  =  “la la la la laaa…   I can’t heeeear you…”

When I hear a kinky male say he’s eager to learn, I feel quite certain that if I presented him with information unrelated to his arousal, and to do with his kink-related responsibilities and behaviour at times other than during his erotic enjoyment, then his eager to learn would be discarded fast enough to break the sound barrier.
In short:

  • Eager to learn  =  Dick hard
  • Dick limp  =  Eager to learn  masturbate


Please Don’t Make Me Confirm Everybody’s Erections

Perhaps I should remain aware that when a kinky male newbie says eager to learn, he very likely has an erection.

    (I so will NEVER be looking to confirm this)

In my experience, the phrase eager to learn equally indicates a complete indifference  (for “indifference” read  –  “absolute rudeness and refusal”)  to learn anything which doesn’t get his dick hard.

    Sometimes I wonder if some of these phrases are hard-wired into some human beings from birth.   How else could such a huge percentage of kinky male newbies be saying the same phrases, time after time after time after time, newbie after newbie after newbie?

    Answers on a postcard in the comments, please.   :)


About Lady Lubyanka

I am a 45 year old musician, and also a multisexual, polyamourous, Jewish, socially dominant woman within my romantic BDSM relationships.
This entry was posted in fuckwitism, Human Beingness 101, Kink, Psychology, Rant, Respect. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Eager To Learn – The Rant

  1. I’ve been some what busy so it’s been a while before I’ve had a chance to read your blog, and I must say, your Loquaciousness, I’ve missed a lot. I do like your definitions and I reckon that the subsequent ranting is pretty damn good, being entertaining and thought provoking in equal measure.

    There are two points I’d like to bring up.

    1) “Now, ask yourselves seriously – do you honestly know any person who:
    * considers themselves to be closed-minded or unwilling to learn?
    * refers to themselves as closed-minded or disinterested in learning?
    * advertises themselves to others as closed-minded or unwilling to learn?”

    You’ve obviously never met my year 11 bottom set science class. They are defiantly unwilling to learn and will proclaim loudly, “No point learning this. Don’t need it to work as a plasterer” Such an attitude is, I’m certain, deliberately devised to annoy me and so might not be a valid exception to your rule.

    2) “fabulous feats of meritorious kink,” from the Wannabe rant. This phrase should earn you an award. If no awards are forthcoming, I’ll invent one, dammit!

    Great stuff and keep it up.



  2. Hello Mr Longwidget. :)

    I think there is a significant difference between a person saying that they are declining to learn a specific thing, and saying that they are in general unwilling to learn. My experience is that these people who use eager to learn in the context I described, never say what they are eager to learn (unless they are referring to kink in general), so it wouldn’t be the same as your example.

    And I must admit, I myself was singularly pleased with “fabulous feats of meritorious kink” as well. :)

    Thank you very much for your as-always morale-boosting visit. :)

    Best regards,

    Lubyanka. :)

  3. Free Thinking Writer says:

    Lady Lubyanka, maybe the basic misunderstanding is quite simple. When they say, “Eager to learn,” they’re leaving off the second part. What they really mean is, “Eager to learn how you intend to do me for maximum enjoyment on my side.”

    Or some such sentiment.

    See? They’re quite eager to learn. They’re even quite eager to learn specifically from you. Or specifically from anyone else with the right plumbing and attitude. Or specifically anyone of any gender and attitude who is willing to indulge their fantasies.

    See? Quite eager!

  4. Yes, I know, hence the rant. :)

  5. Pingback: Turning Self-Destructive Ways Into Positive Ones « Past the Hurt

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