Wannabe (BDSM)

And now…

  • wan•na•be   |ˈwänəbē; ˈwô-| *
  • noun   informal derogatory   (pl. -s)
    variants   wan•na  be,   wan•na – be
    In BDSM  –  An epithet used by  One True Way  BDSM practitioners to denigrate and exclude other BDSM practitioners.  

    The term is primarily deployed during a heightened emotional state, during which the term user unfavourably compares the standards of their chosen target(s) to their own personal standards.
    Users of the term most commonly choose their targets as a response to any combination of the following behaviours:


    Originally a colloquial contraction of  want to be,  the term evolved from its initial use solely as a nominal qualifier  | wannabe dom |  to its current use as both an adjective and a free standing noun.

    Early occurrences were solely as a descriptor of individuals  (usually male)  who habitually  (and frequently unsuccessfully)  used this term to seek BDSM partners.  |  i  wanna be your whore |  

    Latterly, although still in widespread use as an epithet which meaningfully describes its target, wannabe is now increasingly recognised by its use as a meaningful example of exclusionary behaviour.
    (regardless of the target)
    Synonym  –  player   (only when contrasted with lifestyle, true, real or similar)
    What marks a true dominant from a player or wannabe |
    Antonyms  –  true,   real   (occasionally genuine)  
    a true slave | a real dom | a genuine BDSM lifestyle master |

      *   This is a contextually BDSM-specific definition of wannabe.   I feel that my definition accurately describes the colloquial current usage of wannabe in the BDSM world, and represents the term in a way which had yet to be addressed in any currently available freely searchable online media.

      †   These statistics were based on my personal experience and on several days of web research.

    With some assistance from
    Version 2.0.2 (51.4)
    Copyright © 2005-2007 Apple Inc.,
    All rights reserved.


About Lady Lubyanka

I am a 45 year old musician, and also a multisexual, polyamourous, Jewish, socially dominant woman within my romantic BDSM relationships.
This entry was posted in BDSM, definition, exclusion, fuckwit, fuckwitism, fuckwits, fuckwittedness, Human Beingness 101, Power Exchange, Psychology. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Wannabe (BDSM)

  1. Tom Allen says:

    I wonder if there is a term for those who enjoy the subtext (i.e., the hovery title text) more than the actual post?

  2. Heh, that’s funny, I thought that this post’s hovery tooltips were the most boring cos they were mostly just the quoted text from the links! ;)

    But yes, there should so definitely be a term, and maybe also one for people who write practically a whole other post in the tooltips?

    I hope your weekend was enjoyable? I’m going to comment on your latest post but not now cos I’m going out.

    My comment might be just the teensiest bit controversial, just so you know. :p

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