Having taken you through the beginning of My Story Of Caneness, I now welcome you to the Caney Droolfest.
After receiving CCC’s caney largesse, I indulged in droolfestness over the oooh-and-aaah-worthy goodies, and by this point you may possibly be wondering what they were like?
Well, ok, I’m getting to that bit, keep your hair on. :)
Purple Purfler (top) is approximately 74cm long with an 8mm diameter.
Fluffy Chick Stick (bottom) is approximately 60cm long with an 8mm diameter.
- (the terms “top” and “bottom” in this context are referring to physical positions in the photograph, and are not in any way meant to imply that either one of these canes has any of those nasty pervy power exchange predilection thingummies, k?)
(just so that’s clear.)
(right, that’s enough of that, moving swiftly on…)
As CCC put it, Chick Stick is a chicken in the body of a wasp, and was meant as a friend for Irving. :) I suppose she had that shorter bit of Delrin left over and made an extra cane out of it, which she gave me in honour of Irving.
How thoughtful. :D
As you can see, CCC spent quite a bit of time and effort finishing and detailing the handles with the hurley grips, feathers, and pipe cleaners. It isn’t too clear from this image, but some of the pipe cleaners were used to make a loop at the end so the canes can be hung up for storage or hung off a belt loop for convenient carryage. You can just about see a bit of the loop on Chick Stick, as the pipe cleaner goes across the feathers.
The feathers were a particularly nice touch, I thought. Although the canes are a bit long to conveniently use as a tickly toy, it’s really cool (not to mention clever) to have the “slap and tickle” effect together. :)
And if you look closely at Chick Stick, you’ll see at the Delrin end of the handle, CCC had pipe cleanered a wee chicken right there. It’s on its side as you look at it, head, beak, and eyes oriented towards the feathers looking out at the camera.
In this image of the tips, it’s easy to see the amount of careful toilage CCC put in to ensure the tips of the canes (one of the most dangerous areas) were finished off as roundly and as smoothly as at all possible. The regularly spaced stripes you can see on the Delrin shafts are simply smooth marks from the manufacturing process. The marks are not obtrusively recessed into or proud of the surface.
Mmmmmmmm, yummy. :)
Delightfully, I had plenty of willing
victims I mean carcasses, no, I mean all-you-can-eat anatomical buffets, no, actually I meant friends on which to try out my newest acquisitions of prettiness. So I spent much of the night smacking them into stuff (the canes into stuff, not the friends) and had several thoughts on the initial smackage experience.
- (actually, now I come to think of it, I was smacking the friends too, but it was stuff into friends, not the friends into stuff)
(actually, the friends were already into this stuff themselves, without me having to smack them into it)
- 8mm diameter x 74cm-ish lengths of Delrin such as Purple Purfler are unsuitable for continuous, quick, tappy, wristy techniques – Delrin canes are much too thick, heavy, and stiff at those proportions to use comfortably, safely, or accurately for any longer than a few minutes.
- Using Purple Purfler, my wrist became too tired to maintain safely accurate precision with my preferred technique after only a few minutes – compare and contrast with my favourite 6mm x 74cm-ish kooboo cane which I can happily, easily, and accurately wield that way for hours.
- On the up side, Chick Stick – whilst utterly unlively in the hand and shorter than I normally prefer – was unexpectedly an absolute treat to play with and will undoubtedly become one of my favourites, even though in use it doesn’t swoosh or flex in those groovy ways I like so much.
- Delrin unfortunately doesn’t audibly swoosh through the air anywhere near as pleasingly as other materials – my guess is that this is because Delrin itself has such a low friction coefficient (very slippery stuff).
- Delrin is in many ways a stunning material for canes – very slippery and smooth, retains its shape well, stable in most environmental conditions, hygienic, easy to clean and store, and can produce a wide variety of sensations, ranging from “mmmmmmmmm” to “ooooooohhhhhhhh” to “aaahhh!” to “fuuuuckkkkkk!!” to “Hey, OWW!!“
- Because Delrin canes are extremely easy to wield dangerously, and represent a high risk of significant pain, marking, and injury, I would suggest that any Delrin canes (not just CCC’s) are unsuitable for less experienced tops.
- I’d love to try a Delrin cane sometime in something like 5mm diameter, but I know that CCC doesn’t have access to sizes under 8mm at the same cheapness. And since one of the major points of this project was to beat the crap out of the pirahna prices of the spanky toy industry, investing extra dosh in specially extruding a smaller diameter would entirely defeat the purpose.
- Hurley grips are great, but I can’t help wondering how much more deliciously tactile a rubbery velvety golf grip would be.
Notes To Self
- Get some golf grips and give them to CCC to see what she can do with them.
- Check with CCC about sizes.
- eBay appears to be an excellent source for good value golf grips.
- The funkier the colours, the higher the price (naturally).
- Many of the basic golf grips, even some of the dearer ones, are surprisingly cheap, cheaper than many of the hurley grips.
Between the 18th and 22nd of July, CCC and I’d had an amuseworthy conversation running something like this:
- Me: I’d be happy to test and review some prototypes for you on my kvetch, if that’d be useful?
- CCC: Ah yeah, that’d be cool, if you and him wouldn’t mind. And also if it’s really hurty, kvetch won’t give out to me for ever giving you them. And if ye liked them I could have “As approved by Lubyanka”. That’d be cool. :)
- Me: Ooooh, would that really be cool? Ooooooh. I should maybe have, like “Lubyanka’s Rubber Chicken Seal Of Yummy [Thwappiness/Flogginess/Stinginess/Hittiness/Piranha Beeness/Delete As Applicable]” or something. I could award perv marks for accuracy, pain, feel-in-the-hand, squeal factor, or subsequent obedience, couldn’t I. :D
- CCC: Oh, we could have scale. Well the chicken says it’s a 7.5. I’ve often thought (well not often. A couple of times anyway) that a scale should be made, that’d take in the strenght of the hitty thing, the strength of the hitter, the hittie’s pain threshold and their humour at the time, that kinda thing. In graph form, or something.
So with this new idea, and with due consideration to the fact that the Irvings may possibly represent a new standard in spanky toy excellence, I hereby introduce my first ever
(doing my best here, so no giving out to me, plskthx :) )
And now….. The Irvings!