Identifying the Worthless Worm

I know, this topic is old, just like the last one, and the one before. But still, I have stuff to say about it. And it’s my blog, so I can say what I like, even if it has mould on it.

So here is my version of the mouldy topic that is
The Worthless Worm
I think we’ve all encountered Worthless Worm at one time or another. He can be a “she”, but is most frequently a “he” in my experience.

Worthless Worm also enthusiastically advertises himself as Doormat, Waste Of Space, Useless Slave, Useless Submissive, Worthless Slave, Worthless Submissive, and a huge assortment of other titles in similar style.

Worthless Worm is another popular variety of the do me!!! submissive, with a bonus side order of stealth validation seeking thrown in at no extra charge. As a do me!!! submissive, pretty much all of the identifying features which describe do me!!! practitioners will also accurately describe Worthless Worm.

The Advertising Campaign Of The Worthless Worm

Imagine the advertising campaign –

  • Don’t Buy This!!
    Your time is being wasted right now exerting any focus at all on our worthless product!
    Our product is valueless, useless, and pointless!
    Our product cannot amuse, serve, or interest you in any way!

  • Don’t Buy Our Product, and Don’t Buy It Right Now!!
    (ring our free number NOW, to not buy now)

If you are Worthless Worm, can you see the problems we have with that?

The Usual Procedures Of The Worthless Worm

Worthless Worm advertises himself (paradoxically loudly and with pride) as entirely lacking any personal value, worth, or interest of any kind. He then presents himself to you, somewhat like a dog with a chewed up ball, wagging his tail   (or pictures of it),   hopefully expecting you to somehow take an interest.

He is utterly bewildered when you do not.

Worthless Worm clearly and specifically solicits the interest of prospective partners by unequivocally advertising his totally valueless existence. If you happen to be one of his solicited prospective partners, and if you actually agree and reinforce to him (by disengaging) how worthless he really is to you, he will then begin to experience intense feelings of distress and fear. He is likely to start complaining in a child-like fashion –

    “No, that’s not right, that’s not how it’s supposed to go,   do me!!!

Like any do me!!! submissive, Worthless Worm is desperate for your time, focus, attention and validation, and will do anything and everything he can think of to get it. Unfortunately, his choices seem to mostly be limited to the responses most usually appropriate for a ±5 year old child. He pouts, he sulks, he argues, he has tantrums.

He remains invariably confident in his assumption that he   must   keep reinforcing his worthlessness to you, because – in his mind – that is the   only   sure-fire way to guarantee that he will be rewarded with your time and attention.

He then interprets your inevitable lack of interest as reinforcement for his feelings of worthlessness.

Rinse, repeat.
Any of this sound familiar?

The Usual Goals Of The Worthless Worm

What Worthless Worm expects, seeks, and craves, are responses like this

Yes, I know, you are   such   a worthless worm, you are no use to me at all.
I validate your feelings of your own inferiourity, I validate your feelings that I am superiour to you, and I validate your normality for having this fantasy.
Come here to me so that I can clearly demonstrate my interest in your worthless carcass (and therefore, my interest in you).
I will keep rewarding you with my time, focus, attention, and validation by indulging your kink to be told frequently and repeatedly how insignificant you are and how important I am.
I will indulge your craving to be told what to do so that you don’t have to think or make decisions or be responsible for anything.
You will happily agree with everything I say, wag your tail, and hope that I don’t go away.

Unfortunately, Worthless Worm isn’t aware that he will never get this kind of response from a relative stranger unless he pays them for it. He is unlikely to ever understand that most reasonable people will not feel any kind of personal benefit from giving the kind of response which Worthless Worm fantasises about. Worthless Worm will need to have been in a personal social relationship for some time before she is likely to feel comfortable providing this kind of response.

Pro doms and financial predators will obviously be happy to do that kind of response straight away, of course.

Worthless Worm almost always claims to be a huge fan of any one of the number of ideologies advocating the inherent superiourity of women over men. But his behaviour more often than not reflects his misogynistic expectations that the superiour women will have needs and wants which by definition will service and indulge his needs and wants.

Worthless Worm doesn’t tend to appreciate that the prospective partners he regards as superiour will have their own needs and wants which are likely to differ from, and at times conflict with his own. So Worthless Worm’s misogyny is always guaranteed to reduce his chances of successfully attracting a partner.

How Worthless Worm Is Paradoxically Useful


  • If it weren’t for Worthless Worm, then profit princesses would more or less have no business at all.
  • Worthless Worm, in his usual style, utterly fails to realise that without him, profit princess is broke and out of a job.
  • Paradoxically, Worthless Worm is solely and personally responsible for financing an entire industry. Profit princess knows this.

However useful Worthless Worm is to profit princess, unfortunately profit princess is most definitely detrimental to Worthless Worm. Profit princess uses emotional focus as bait, and thus Worthless Worm is particularly vulnerable to her manipulative money-spinning schemes.

Because of Worthless Worm’s extremely poor self-awareness, he doesn’t realise that what he   actually wants   isn’t the same as what he   fantasises about wanting.   His awareness of this only comes close to entering his consciousness when he feels distress and fear in response to a solicited person’s unwitting betrayal of Worthless Worm’s imagined fantasy scenario with responses he wasn’t seeking.

Worthless Worm experiences much less distress and fear with profit princess than he does with the prospective partners whom he solicits socially. This is because profit princess knows how Worthless Worm wants her to respond, and does so within close range of what Worthless Worm is so desperately seeking.

Whilst Worthless Worm is being manipulated and exploited by profit princess, he feels relatively minor emotional discomfort as compared to the distress and fear he experiences when a prospective social partner transgresses his expectations and disengages. This discomfort is usually more or less completely overshadowed by the joy he feels at having some of his needs serviced. That joy, so desperately sought, strongly encourages Worthless Worm to enthusiastically continue pursuing some of his more self-destructive goals.

Profit princess knows this, and often uses her knowledge of this fact to successfully exploit Worthless Worm for financial gain. Worthless Worm will remain particularly susceptible to this kind of manipulation until or unless his self awareness increases sufficiently to allow him to more fully understand his reasons for seeking out this kind of self destructive behaviour.

Until then, any attempts to explain or assist him will more than likely be unsuccessful.

Encountering Worthless Worm In The Wild


  1. Run.
  2. Run away very fast.
  3. Run away very fast and hide and be vewwwey vewwwey qwiet.

If you feel attracted to emotionally “rescuing” other people, you might especially want to run away and hide, even if you don’t want to run away and hide. In addition to attracting financial predators, Worthless Worm has a tendency to attract those who have strong feelings of wanting to help others.

Worthless Worm does not respond to assistance well. He will agree with you verbally, and you will feel good about helping. But some time later you will hear him complaining about the same things, and you will only then find out that he has actually done none of the things to help himself which he agreed he would try.

    You are vewwwey wikewy to feel vewwwey vewwwey fwustwated.

Believe me, I know, I’ve been there.

Only Worthless Worm himself can improve his chances in life and in partnerships. But he’ll have to want to, first.

The Proverbial “It”

Ok, that’s it (for now) for the current set of my definition posts.

(awwww, did I hear an “awwww“?)

I’ve got a list of post topics I put together, and I’ve been working from that. Don’t worry, there’s loads of topics left which I haven’t finished yet.

I don’t want to give too much away, but one of them definitely has a fork in it.

But for right now, I’m taking a bit of a break, cos I’m all blogged out. I’ll be back soon, though, promise.   :)

xx Lubyanka.   :)

About Lady Lubyanka

I am a 45 year old musician, and also a multisexual, polyamourous, Jewish, socially dominant woman within my romantic BDSM relationships.
This entry was posted in BDSM, definition, Human Beingness 101, Hypocrism, Power Exchange, Psychology, Respect, slave, submission, submissive, This should have been a rant but wasn't, Validation. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Identifying the Worthless Worm

  1. Ms. Madison says:

    This is brilliant. It’s so true you want to cry, but also very funny.

  2. True and funny, I couldn’t ask for a more complimenty compliment than that.   :D

    Thank you.   :)

  3. Baby says:

    I have wiped the tears of laughter away now, and can see clearly enough to leave a comment to let you know – thoroughly entertaining :) Thank you – most especially – the “do me!!!” practitioner and the “tag and release” program – OMG, just cracked me up! Though I must admit they sound more like something from the insect world – – – like the “worthless worm”…If one or the other has crossed my path, which I do believe is the case, I probably just swatted them away, “schmushed” them with my shoe or if really annoying got out the bug spray ;)

  4. That’s really interesting. I felt fairly low whilst constructing both do me!!! and Worthless Worm, because I find the behaviour types themselves so utterly depressing. And I don’t remember at any time ever trying to   be   funny.

    I remember feeling pleased with my cleverness when I did the section that described them as if they were wildlife, and I also enjoyed creating the Worthless Worm advertising campaign. But I didn’t feel the posts themselves were “funny”, as such. They certainly didn’t feel funny to write.

    But they must have been funny because you’re the second person to think so.   :)

    Maybe they’re funny because they resonate as true? I find a lot of funniness is because of just articulating obvious things that somehow never got around to being said.

    Or maybe I’m just a bloggy comedy genius?

    Yes, that’s it, I think like that answer best.   :D

    Thank you for your yummy comment.   :)

  5. Great stuff. As always I miss a blog or two and read a couple at once. The “do me” types and the “worthless worms” are part of all our make ups, I think. I’d say also that most of us grow past these essentially childish behaviour types when our ages need more than a single digit to be written down. I’m not certain, but I doubt the capture and release thing would work. Would not they return so that they could be tagged all over again, in the vain hope that getting enough tags would induce you into “doing” them? Still it was a lovely image as was the running away and hiding elmer-fudd-like from the “ww”s.

    It’s a shame you’re blogged out for now but I’m looking forward to more.

    P.S. Those validation lessons I mentioned have had to be put back- we’re getting the inspectors in and management are getting jittery. As is always the case, anything remotely innovative gets axed in such circumstances.

  6. The “do me” types and the “worthless worms” are part of all our make ups, I think. I’d say also that most of us grow past these essentially childish behaviour types when our ages need more than a single digit to be written down.

    I do think those elements are part of a lot of people, but I do not think that we were all born with them. Certainly it is perfectly appropriate for children to be self-centric and self-interested, and because of that I wouldn’t really associate my description of do me!!! with children.

    I don’t really think of this behaviour as “childish”, because not all children exhibit this behaviour, not all of this behaviour is appropriate to children, and some of it is quite commonplace in many adults, at least some of the time. So I tend to think of it as “child-like”, because of the nuances of being unsophisticated, guileless, naive, ingenuous. In my experience, almost every do me!!! practitioner is utterly unaware of what he’s doing and why, and is not capable of understanding his behaviour even if it’s explained to him.

    If they were more aware and less child-like, I think they’d have to manipulate to get what they want, and I think I already described why I don’t think do me!!! practitioners are manipulators.

    I’m not certain, but I doubt the capture and release thing would work. Would not they return so that they could be tagged all over again, in the vain hope that getting enough tags would induce you into “doing” them?

    I guess you missed the part where I said:

    The do me!!! practitioners can be caught, tagged, and safely released into appropriate habitats within purpose-built reserves for their conservation and management.

    I always thought “reserve” in the context of wildlife, always included the meaning of “protected”. Perhaps I wasn’t clear that “purpose built reserves” means “behind big fences and a gate with lots of locks on it”? Perhaps I should have called it an enclosure?

    Ok, that’s a good point, lemme just make that clear for a sec:

    Purpose-Built Reserve:   A place to keep do me!!! practitioners safely behind huge fences and a big gate with lots of locks and alarms and security and stuff. Do me!!! practitioners tagged and released into the enclosure are not normally allowed back into the wild.

    (except maybe on a one-day-release scheme or something like that)

    There, is that better?   ;)

    Still it was a lovely image as was the running away and hiding elmer-fudd-like from the “ww”s.

    Thank you.   :)   I did enjoy working out those spellings.   :)

    Those validation lessons I mentioned have had to be put back

    Oh NOES!!! No more fantasies for Lubyanka 101 being a mandatory part of every curriculum in the known universe!! Oh the pain, the suffering, the ennui.   ;)

    (kvetch says “awww”)

    Do let me know when my regularly scheduled fantasising may resume its normal programming, won’t you?

  7. Ms. Madison says:

    I’m surprised you weren’t trying to be funny. I thought the fake “Don’t Buy This!” ads were great satire.

    I was also thinking, “Wow, it is so awesome that she is able to think about bad behavior with such healthy detachment, and with a sense of humor, instead of becoming angry and discouraged like me.”

    I’m sorry this wasn’t as fun to write as it was to read. I am selfishly looking forward to the next installments.

  8. I’m surprised you weren’t trying to be funny. I thought the fake “Don’t Buy This!” ads were great satire.

    Thank you Ms Madison, I did enjoy doing the “Don’t Buy This!” ad.   :)

    I didn’t mean I   wasn’t trying to be funny, more that, I wasn’t overtly trying to write a “funny” post, if you understand the difference?

    For example, this is a good example of a post which I deliberately intended to be “a funny post”, even if also detailed, accurate, and complete. And I think that post is quite a lot funnier than this one, even though this one has funny moments in it.

    I was also thinking, “Wow, it is so awesome that she is able to think about bad behavior with such healthy detachment, and with a sense of humor, instead of becoming angry and discouraged like me.”

    Hahaha, oh dear, indeed, detachment, lol, oh no, not a lot of that going on round here, hehehe. I’m almost sorry to disappoint you! I can’t tell you how much I’d adore to be all superiour and detached and tell you from my high horse how some certain sensible outlook is the answer to everything!

    Oh well, maybe in a future life.   :p

    I wrote this as a description rather than a “rant” (even though I do in fact feel quite ranty about the whole thing), because I felt that lots of those had already been done on this topic ad infinitum.

    Having said that, I have been spending quite a bit of time considering what lay behind all this behaviour, and having found what I think are at least a few of the answers, I do think I’m a tiny bit more detached than I was before. However, I still do feel angry and discouraged, and often think the best thing for all concerned would be to admit defeat, blow up the whole planet, and start over.

    But then, sometimes I think it might just be possible to work with what we’ve got, and maybe, just maybe, I get just the teensiest smidgen of hope.

    But then it goes away, and I eat a biscuit.

    I’m sorry this wasn’t as fun to write as it was to read. I am selfishly looking forward to the next installments.

    I don’t think they ever are as fun to write as they are to read, I mean, I often have quite a bit of fun reading over my posts ages after I’ve finished them, and that’s always more fun than writing them.   :)

    Your “selfish” looking-forward-ness provides me with encouragement that my next posts have an audience waiting to read them, so what’s “selfish” about that? You get upcoming posts, I get an audience, step right up, everybody’s a winner.   :D

    Thank you for being such a validatey commenty audient. I have had much enjoyment from your contributions. Do please carry on, I will if you will!   :D

    Lubyanka.   :)

  9. I did think a long while over whether to use “childish” or “childlike” as both have things to recommend them. Certainly, “childlike” carries all of the connotations of naivety and unselfconsciousness that you describe. However, for me the clincher in my adjectival assignment was the way that, to me at least, “childlike” behaviours seem positive ones while “childish” behaviours are invariably negative ones which one hopes the child in question will grow out of. Again, it goes to show that one’s use of language is never the same as others and sometimes the connotations of a word to one person convey a different meaning to another. For example, recently a friend used the word “unmitigated” in a wholly positive context, which jarred with me. I guess it just shows that we should always be careful what we say, which leads me on to…

    OK, that’s a fair cop about the “capture and release” bit. It was a case of a nascent smart-alec remark running away with all memory of what was actually written in the passage it was responding to. I could try to justify myself by commenting on how many animals escape from secure reserves and that something akin to animal rights activists (I was going to say “do me rights” but that just sounded needy and perverse) might try to free them back into the wild but that would be a self deception on my part in an attempt to preserve the fig leaf of my intellectual integrity. So I shan’t and will merely say that my typing finers ran away from my good sense in search of a wisecrack. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa etc.

    I’m not sure whether normal service will ever be resumed at my school, as the are being subsumed into one of the new Academies complete with a new emperor’s-new-clothes curriculum. As the whole validation issue is something I feel strongly about and that pushing such a topic is in keeping with what the men in suits say is the new ethos of the Academy, I’m hopeful I should be able to slip it in somewhere. Where, and more appositely, when is still a matter of conjecture. Ho hum…

  10. says:

    Your “Advertising Campaign” is hilarious. It is also to the point. It is the “crawling so far into the hole that I come out the other side” scenario.

    I may be well meaing and want to serve a deserving woman. But, if I feel worthless, and I present myself as worthless, I would attract only women who want to deal with wortless humans. So, going too far with the wortless feeling is worthless, as such.

    I am truly committed to serve my wife, but it is from a position of power and self esteem. I want to be worthy of her, and do my best. I know my worth, and I don’t give it away to just any female.

    I do respect females, and I most certainly love them. I would be honored to serve them. However, I am also discriminating in my selection. There is no universal rule. As much as I love and respect females, I still need to evaluate them on an individual basis. This is why I don’t buy into “female supremacy”.

  11. Pingback: The Big Banana « Lady Lubyanka

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