Orgasm Denial And Chastity – The Beginning

 
After all the stuff I’ve read about orgasm denial and chastity, and after some discussion with kvetch, I’ve been considering a male chastity device for him.

In the early days of my relationship with kvetch, he disclosed to me that he had a problem with spending more time than he could spare on porn and masturbation.   When I’m with him, this isn’t an issue.   When I’m away, this remains a problem for him at times.

Normally, I define a “problem” as:
 

    problem  –  Something which interferes with usual function enough to impede or impair it.

 
In kvetch’s case, when I’m not around he finds that he spends more time than he can comfortably spare looking at porn and masturbating, sometimes for hours every evening.   This can prevent him from completing other tasks.

Last time I saw him  (oy vey, a post about that may possibly be in the works)  he suggested to me that chastity might be helpful for this issue.   We were in a shop buying me a new pain toy, and whilst there we had a look at a CB-3000 which was on display in a glass case.   The case also had a stainless steel chastity device on display.

I didn’t really like the look of either of them, but the whole idea is rather hot.   ;)   I like the idea of holding the key to his genitals, a  lot.   :)

There are an unbelievable number of male chastity devices out there.   The choice and variety is bewilderingly huge.   That review site helped a great deal to clarify what it was I was actually shopping for.
 

About Lady Lubyanka

I am a 45 year old musician, and also a multisexual, polyamourous, Jewish, socially dominant woman within my romantic BDSM relationships.
This entry was posted in BDSM, chastity, Consent, Droolworthy Stuff, Me Me Me Me Me, Power Exchange, Psychology, serf, Sex Toys. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Orgasm Denial And Chastity – The Beginning

  1. Tom Allen says:

    The single biggest complaint about the Curve is that it’s bulky and not easily hidden under normal street clothes, and shows up even more under tight jeans.

    Somewhere on the net are instructions on how to modify the Curve by cutting out a section from the middle in order to shorten it a bit to make it more passable. Kvetch might want to look into that.

    I’ll speak from experience that a frenum piercing might not be the best kind for wearing with these devices; in fact, several people recommended a PA to me, but I chose to ignore them. A year of difficulties in fitting my frenum barbell to the CB3k, though, has changed my mind.

  2. Thank you Tom, those all sound like great tips. :)

    I’ll have a look around for Curve mods which don’t require a degree in engineering or specialist tools. :)

    Sorry to hear about the difficulties you’ve had with your barbell. Have you considered putting a ring in your frenum instead?

  3. Tom Allen says:

    Actually, I didn’t ask why you’d chosen the Curve instead of the CB3000 or the new CB6000. Both are more passable under street clothes – I can wear my 3k under suits, jeans, even bathing suits – the baggy kind.

    Have you considered putting a ring in your frenum instead?

    Funny you should ask – I just posted last week that I swapped out the barbell for a captive segment ring. It stretched me a bit, and the sharp edge sort of scraped me a little, but it’s getting more comfy. We’re itching to try it out.

  4. Actually, I didn’t ask why you’d chosen the Curve instead of the CB3000 or the new CB6000. Both are more passable under street clothes – I can wear my 3k under suits, jeans, even bathing suits – the baggy kind.

    Based on the reviews and information I read, my primary concern wasn’t being unobtrusive under clothes. Getting an adequate, comfortable, safe and secure fit was my number one priority.

    When reading people’s personal experiences, it seemed that one of the issues with the CB3000 which was resolved with the Curve was an issue experienced by people with larger cocks. Kvetch has a cock which tends to be pretty sizeable when not erect, and indeed has quite a heft to it when even partially erect. People had written about problems with the CB3000 and larger cocks.

    Also in those reviews, some individuals said that the Curve was unobtrusive under their clothes, even lycra cycling shorts, though some said it showed a lot. But based on what I read, the strong impression I got was that the Curve would fit kvetch much better than the CB3000. I found less information about the CB6000, and anyhow, it seemed to have similar internal dimensions to the CB3000.

    So, that was a lot to do with why I chose the Curve and not either of the others.

    Actually, I was quite attracted to this pretty thing, but it’s steel unfortunately, so no good for metal detectors.

    I’m interested to hear you’ve just swapped over to the captive ring. I look forward to hearing more about your frenal adventures. :)

    (come to that, I can’t wait to find out how my adventures in male chastity go, hehe)

  5. nigel says:

    Wow ! you guys get all the fun.

    However is it possible that male chastity devices are a male ruse to focus attention on the penis rather than on the vulva? and by doing so, clandestinely undermine Female Dominance?

    The “cod-piece” in Tudor clothing fashion, is my argument’s precedent.

  6. Hello Nigel,

    Thanks for dropping by. I find I’m unable to make any sense out of your question.

    Why would some focus on one thing necessarily result in less focus on another?

    Why would anything I do, or kvetch does, reflect on, influence, or indeed have anything to do with male chastity devices in general, or “male ruses” in general, or “Female Dominance” as a whole?

    Obviously I wouldn’t be aware of anything which was clandestine enough to escape my notice.

    You made an argument? What argument?

    Your precedent is illustrating what presupposition?

    What do cod-pieces or Tudor fashion have to do with any of this?

    I’m lost.

  7. Tom Allen says:

    I think that what Nigel is asking is whether or not a focus on the devices is a substitute for a focus on the penis themselves. That is, when men start comparing notes on the devices, modifying them, adjusting, cleaning, etc., it seems to be some kind of effort, or perhaps, a ruse in which their partner has to pay more attention to their penis than she would normally.

    In response, I think that Nigel should spend a couple of weeks in a CB3k with someone who lives very, very far away holding the key.

  8. Thank you for the clarification, Tom. :)

    I think that it’s fairly obvious that I can’t comment with any certainty on what other people do, or why they do it. Not that this stops me, sometimes, in some categories, but I don’t feel comfortable commenting on general behaviours in this category, as I simply don’t know.

    If there are any ruses to focus my attention more on the cock than I might otherwise do, I’m not aware of them. I don’t prefer to participate in those sorts of games.

    If an increase of my focus is desired on my submissive’s cock, then they may simply say so, and I will consider it. I would regard that as a topic suitable for negotiation, and negotiate it.

    If men in general are using chastity in general as a ruse to increase their own focus on their own cocks, then that is for them to work out. I have little interest in the topic.

    This question spawns the further query as to whether a question like this is in fact a passive aggressive attempt to draw me personally into increasing my own focus on Nigel’s particular cock.

    And my verdict on that is, possibly, or possibly not. As I have little interest in that topic, I won’t be spending any time on it.

    Best regards,

    Lubyanka.

  9. Tom Allen says:

    If there are any ruses to focus my attention more on the cock than I might otherwise do, I’m not aware of them. I don’t prefer to participate in those sorts of games.

    I sort of understand the point he was trying to make, although I disagree with it.

    In some respects, all the fussing with the devices does focus a lot of attention on your penis. In addition, some people play games of chance, indulge in point systems, and in fact, do end up making the game more about the orgasm than the denial. IMHBCO, of course.

  10. In some respects, all the fussing with the devices does focus a lot of attention on your penis.

    Yes, I do get that. I’m just not sure whether the fussing with the device won’t solely increase kvetch’s focus on his own penis (which I have no problem with, at the moment), as opposed to increasing my focus on it (which I don’t imagine happening at this stage).
     
     
    In addition, some people play games of chance, indulge in point systems, and in fact, do end up making the game more about the orgasm than the denial.

    I don’t do points systems of any kind, nor do I play games of chance. I can’t imagine modifying those behaviours for the sake of the device. I have my methods with kvetch, and they do not include any games of that nature.
     
     
    IMHBCO, of course.

    Is that: “In My Humble But Considered Opinion”?

    Any of those things which you mentioned above may certainly affect other people. But since those other people are nothing to do with me, and since I am not in fact those other people, I couldn’t address any questions involving them.

    I do very much appreciate your clarifying the viewpoint, thank you Tom. :)

    Lubyanka. :)
     
     
    4 January 2008: **Update**

    After some (somewhat) delayed googlage, I have found that “IMHBCO” is most definitely an acronym for:

    “In My Humble But Correct Opinion”.

    Just to let everybody know I did find it in the end. :)

    **End Of Update**

  11. Pingback: Experiences In Chastity - Episode 1: Fitting, Wearing, and Keyholding. « Lady Lubyanka

  12. Jeff says:

    Great job selecting the Curve.Once Kvetch has found the right sized cuffing ring I would suggest you replace the hinged cuffing with a solid ring compatible with the curve.Comfort level soars.I’m locked in a cb3k with a solid ring and it wears like a breeze.In fact I feel insecure out of my cb3k.

  13. Hello Jeff,

    I’m sure I’ll be considering the possibility of acquiring a solid ring as soon as I’m sure that the size 1 ring is the most appropriate size for kvetch’s long term wear. There has been much written on the difficulties people have had with the hinged rings.

    I’ve been keeping the hinge covered, and so far we have experienced no hinge related issues with skin irritation or pinching or sores. And the hinge does allow the ring to be put on around the scrotum and shaft more easily.

    Thank you for stopping by. :)

    Best regards,

    Lubyanka.

  14. Pingback: Bigging Up The Aeropress « Lady Lubyanka

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