or: Flogging With A Dead Horse
I just got back from a fabulously long, debauched weekend at Bicon. It was my first experience of this event, and I feel very confident it won’t be the last.
There is so very much I could write about that long weekend, despite there not being any major food experiences (with the small exception of introducing kvetch to the correctly cooked pork chop ), nor even a jacuzzi (darn ). But in the interests of trying to manage my verbosity, I’m going to limit myself in this post to discussing some of the discoveries I made about the kind of flogging I do.
Jumping In With Both Feet
Feeling as I do, that I like to jump into new experiences with both feet, and this being my first ever Bicon, I offered to do a workshop on flogging.
(I also offered my services as a musician, but as that would have involved a whole lot of extra schleppage by kvetch, dragging my rather heavy audio gear around, I was glad to be told this was a less useful offer )
My offer was accepted, and I duly spent less than an utterly responsible amount of time planning it out. I reached these approximate conclusions:
- I felt I could effectively manage a group of up to around 20 people (feeling it might be optimistic to consider that many would actually turn up ), working in pairs, and swapping over so each person in a pair could have a go
- I thought I’d limit the scope of the workshop to cover the flexible wrist technique I’d learnt from playing violin, in which the flogger handle describes a sideways figure of eight or infinity symbol in the air, which I call “The String Changing Bowing Technique” style of flogging
- If not enough people brought floggers and as a result there weren’t enough floggers to go round, I thought I’d do some work with riding crops as I had more of those to share
- Whilst undressing to the waist would be helpful, it wouldn’t be required
- A few moments spent discussing safety would probably be a good idea
During the workshop, I discovered these elements which I hadn’t considered:
- Some people came to the workshop actually seeking only to be flogged, without much interest in learning to flog (obvious, I know, but I just hadn’t thought of it )
- I hadn’t considered that more people would want to come than I could comfortably manage. Around 40 people turned up for the workshop, and I had no mechanism in place for limiting the numbers. My mistake, oops :p (definitely something to remember for next time )
- Even the experienced flogging BDSM-ers had almost no personal experience at all of the technique I was demonstrating
- The people being flogged, whether taking their turn or just solely being flogged, were experiencing more pleasure, endorphine rushes, and submissive headspace than I had considered possible or likely, considering there were many random pairings, and little, if any, emotional engagement within any of the pairs from the start
- The large numbers of people and resulting chaos meant that my vague plans for a brief safety discussion kind of went right out the window (another important lesson to remember for next time )
With the above discoveries yet to come, on Saturday morning, at 11:00 (ish), I began the workshop.
Kvetch Officially Becomes My Glamorous Assistant
I started with a demonstration (“…as I will now demonstrate, with kvetch, my glamorous assistant…” ), which I ended up having to repeat more than a few times, as people kept coming in late and didn’t know what we were doing.
Kvetch was suitably glamorous throughout. :) In addition to his glamouriciousness, I also found kvetch invaluably helpful, as he was often coming up to me and quietly pointing out things which required my attention.
Because there were really too many people in the workshop, it ended up being necessary to get people to line up in rows, so that I could more easily see, at a glance, if everybody was doing what they should be, and if not, to check that out as immediately as possible.
(because honestly, what some people were doing….(!?!) )
For some reason I didn’t feel entirely comfortable with this, as if I was cramping people’s style and individuality by putting them in rows. But I appreciate this is just something inside me and not some inherent characteristic of people being in rows.
Although I hadn’t mentioned any undressing, I’d had kvetch remove his top for the demonstration. Other people followed this example, and there was a pleasurable amount of all-gendered nudity around the room. :)
Thankfully, many people had brought their own floggers, and many of those people had brought more than one, so there were plenty to go round.
Delightfully, my favourite flogger, with falls made from horse hide (hence the flogging with a dead horse ), also turned out to be everyone’s favourite flogger. :D
(this flogger is also featured in the header image at the top of this blog )
Lots of people have since told me they’ve gone to visit Jack’s site, who is my all time favourite flogger maker, with the intention of purchasing one of these delicious floggers for their very own.
I’ve heard that some have already got their orders in.
A lovely woman had offered to flog kvetch, an offer which he sadly felt he had to decline at the time as he was busy capably ensuring I kept on top of things.
(although he did get a fabulously hot snog from her later on, right at the end of the weekend, and watching that gave me a nice juicy case of the frubbles :D )
I hadn’t realised that some people had a link in their mind which connected flogging with pain. It would seem that they’d come along to the workshop anyhow, and were pleasantly surprised to discover the sensual aspect to flogging. I didn’t know that sensual flogging was such a novel idea. :)
The sounds of a room full of 20 floggers thudding against naked backs was really something, I can tell you. I’m considering composing some musical thing with a flogging section in with the percussion. :)
The atmosphere in the room was electric. It all felt incredibly alive and alert and very cheerful.
Although more people came than I thought I could effectively manage, and the whole thing seemed chaotic in the extreme, everybody, including myself, seemed to think it all went very well.
Lots of people ended up doing some quite respectable flogging using their new technique.
I gave and got bunches of hugs afterwards, from happy floggers and floggees. It took me about half a day to come down from the high I got from that workshop. :)
Stuff That Happened Afterwards
After the workshop, I was approached by more than one person, including people who identify solely as dominants, who wished to be flogged because they thought it would relax and tranquillise them (wow ). For one individual, I ended up being able to flog them on the Sunday night. I did offer to do others, but there just wasn’t the time, unfortunately.
So, when the time on Sunday night rolled around, I started with about an hour and a half of chatting, doing safety and health checks, relaxing them, about three quarters of an hour of flogging, with a few breaks in between, and about an hour and a half of aftercare.
I believe that kvetch, who was reclining nearby, watching the whole thing with enjoyment, can attest to the fact that the bulk of the three quarters of an hour was spent by the floggee in persistent, chronic, giggling. ;)
victim target floggee friend was clearly feeling much better afterwards, and went back to their flat in apparently good spirits.
(their good spirits having left me also feeling pleased and relaxed )
Monday Night Party
Bicon officially ended on Monday morning, but some of us stayed on til Tuesday, as the option was open, and some of us, including myself and kvetch, took the opportunity to stay on and wind down a bit. So, on Monday night, after a big social feed, we all somehow ended up in the flat where kvetch and I were staying, for a party.
There was drinking and chatting in a most convivial atmosphere. One guy had been (I can’t really call it hinting) more or less saying straight out that he was gagging for the opportunity to feel what it was like to be on the receiving end of one of my floggers. Feeling in a floggy kind of mood, I obliged.
Setting The Scene:
We were all in the kitchen, which was a broadly rectangular room. The door was in one narrow end, and the window was at the opposite narrow end.
The door in the picture is blocking the view, unfortunately, of the sofa and tall narrow cupboard on the right.
The fridge, countertops, cupboards and cooker were along the long end to the left of the window. A big table with chairs was up against the wall with the window, and the other long wall had a long sofa which seated four people comfortably.
There was a small gap at the end of the sofa, and then a tall narrow cupboard, which came out less from the wall than a wider tall cupboard beside it, which ended at the wall where the door was.
The kitchen table came out to about where the end of the sofa was.
So I had this guy facing the tall narrow cupboard, out past the end of the kitchen table, which left me room to flog him without hitting anything else. Most of the other people were seated on the sofa and could see the expression on his face as I flogged him. Some people were behind and to the left side of me, watching me flog.
What was really great about this setup was that the people on the sofa could, and did, report to me the changes which were happening on this person’s face as I flogged him. Since he was facing away from me, and there was no mirror, I couldn’t entirely see how he was responding, although of course I could see changes in his stance and posture, and could notice changes in his breathing.
The reports on what was happening in his face were really positive, and very helpful. :)
I did a slow buildup, and a slow wind down, and varied the tempo of my flogging throughout. He responded very positively, and was significantly and noticeably more relaxed afterwards. As I finished, I’m not sure what prompted me to say this, but I allowed the flogger arm to drop to my side, and then asked generally of the room:
“Ok, who’s next?”
I ended up floggiing everybody at the party.
(or, as I prefer to say, I spent the rest of the party knocking everybody’s shit in [cos I think that’s funnier] ;) )
There were interesting instances of rapport in the people who were watching. For example, their breathing was matching the tempo of the flogging. As I flogged faster, so their breathing sped up, and as I slowed, so their breathing slowed.
And as I finished with them, one by one, they lined up on the sofa, one by one, looking all happy and, um, well, the only way I can think of to describe how they looked is, sort of, um, kind of stoned. They were giggly and relaxed and cuddly with the others.
There was one woman there who had some physical issues, and she indicated after I flogged the penultimate person that she’d like to have a go as well. I took a break, had a cigarette outside, and came back in.
The Last Floggee
She asked if she could be flogged sitting down, which was no problem for me. So, she was sat in a chair, facing and leaning forward onto the back of the chair. I thought it might be good to begin with some head touching, as this might serve to relax her first. She agreed when I suggested this, so I stood right behind her, and leant her back so that her head and back were resting against me.
I rhythmically stroked the flat palms of my hands sideways along her forehead, and I could feel the tension easing out of her as I went along. I kept speaking with her as I stroked. She was very good at reporting how she was doing every step of the way, which was very helpful.
After a while, I suggested that she might feel relaxed enough and ready for the flogging, to which she agreed. I eased her back into her forwards leaning position, and gently began stroking her back and sides with the flogger. Every now and again I increased the speed and force ever so slightly. If she flinched at all, I’d resume my previous pace, if she didn’t, I continued with the new pace for awhile, varying from slower to the new pace, and back, and forth, and so on.
I Love Hearing This
It got so she was saying “You can go harder now if you want” (which they’d all said at some point, and which, incidentally, I just adore hearing :D ). I could see how relaxed she was, by the ripple that travelled along her back after each strike, indicating the muscles were relaxed enough to jiggle loosely with each stroke.
Unfortunately, my wrist and arm started to tire after all that flogging all night, affecting my accuracy, and I had to slow down and stop before my precision went all to pieces.
I had a drink, and brought her a drink of water.
She said her leg, which troubles her, was feeling good, but something else, I don’t remember what. So I asked if I may touch her leg to see if I can resolve the problem. She agreed, and I spent quite some time touching her leg in some problem areas with the flats of my hands, and in the case of one specific area, lightly brushing it with the back of the middle joint, above the knuckle, of my bent index finger.
Kvetch reckons I spent about an hour doing this, but I don’t remember.
Afterwards she said her leg was feeling quite a bit better, and I stood up, saying “I think my work here is done”, and felt quite pleased with myself. :)
She stood up, and hugged me, and that hug just seemed to go on forever, it was amazing. We just stood there, holding each other firmly, neither of us seeming in any hurry to let go.
Honestly, I don’t know how long that went on, but it was long enough for the rest of the people to stop watching and continue their conversations, whilst we continued to hug.
Eventually we let go of each other, and I went outside with some of the others to have a cigarette and a rest. My arm was feeling tired and heavy, heh, and no wonder. I’d been flogging more or less without a break for well over an hour and a half.
The Last Flogging Lesson
When I came back, I offered to show anybody who wanted to learn how this kind of flogging is done. My glamorous assistant, kvetch, graciously offered his back for the learning process. :) Four of them tried it, and more or less were able to get the basic idea, which isn’t really that difficult.
Kvetch’s reports on how what they were doing felt to him were really helpful. He could tell when it felt like it was supposed to. I guess he’s really used to it since I flog him a lot. :p He reported when it felt just right, which reports were usually simultaneous with my praise for the correct movements. :)
What was really impressive to me, was that the last person to have a go, who was the first person I flogged, was able to manage the technique almost immediately, and was very accurate and precise almost right from the start. He simply required minor tweaking to get it just right.
They all also appeared to have picked up on the slow buildup to start, and the winding down to finish, without my overtly mentioning it, but just from having watched me earlier. One person, who lost their rhythm and ended up stopping the flogging a bit abruptly, wound kvetch down verbally, by apologising for having stopped so suddenly, and thanking him for the use of his back, which I thought was a splendid example of how they’d all clearly got the idea of what the winding down was about.
After that, people started to go, as it was something like 04:00 in the morning, and we were all leaving the following day.
(well, that same day, really )
We stood outside, having a last cigarette, chatting before everybody left. I had one more hug from the last woman I flogged, which again was amazing and felt like it lasted forever. We carried on having a conversation whilst we hugged and hugged and hugged.
At my request, she texted me the next day to let me know she was feeling very well, which I was delighted to hear. :)
I don’t know if she felt it, but I felt that a bond had formed between herself and myself, and that bond felt strong and warm and nice.
I strongly feel the flogging benefitted me a lot. I hadn’t really been previously aware of this tranquillising element in my flogging, which seems to affect tops and bottoms alike.
I do enormously enjoy being responsible for other people’s pleasure, and take great pleasure in other people’s pleasure. I feel fairly confident that the people I flogged benefitted significantly from what I had to offer. And that alone has left me feeling quite wonderful.
There’s a BDSM themed event coming up soon (and hopefully a post to go with it ), and I very much look forward to exploring more about the flogging there. Some of the people who were at my workshop at Bicon will be there. Hopefully they’ll spread the word, and I’ll have more
victims volunteers to explore with. ;)
I can’t wait. :D