Separation Anxiety

An interesting thing happened a few weeks back  (well obviously  I  think it’s interesting).

Wooden-backed paddle-style natural bristle brush/spanky toyI’d been back at home, away from my serf for about a month  (whom I refer to online as kvetch, as he is a champion kvetcher).

During the last week of the month away from him, my ISP collapsed and was in receivership.   I discovered this for the first time when my connection went offline, not to return.   So I didn’t even have the usual IRC or email contact with him.   We had brief, rather unsatisfactory contact via text message, and some evening phone calls during that week.

When the day arrived when my connection was due to be restored with my new ISP, I was by this time feeling pretty fed up with being offline for so long, internet junkie that I am.   So, you can imagine, I’m Super Cranky Domme.   Normally it is my habit to keep people I know informed of things as and when they happen.   This is especially true of people close to me.   I had every intention of emailing kvetch the minute I got back online, and planned to be pretty darned excited about it, let me tell you!   :)

The deadline came and went, and still, no connection.   I got a text from kvetch, asking if I was online yet.   Feeling pretty cranky that I was not yet online, not knowing why I wasn’t, and feeling like I really did  not  want to be answering questions about not being online, I snapped a text back asking him if he was being deliberately obtuse, since obviously I was answering via text and not yet via email.

Unbeknownst to me, kvetch experienced a strong emotional reaction to this  (of the sort I refer to and regard as a trigger),  which he didn’t tell me about for the next two days.   The first day he was responding to me as usual, if a bit briefer, explaining tiredness as the reason for that.   The second day he didn’t contact me at all, and I started to get really concerned by that evening, as I always hear something from him every day.   Additionally, about four months before I had released a partner who had since been regularly harassing me and kvetch.   I began to panic that something had happened to him which was connected with my ex-partner.  (who then proceeded to harass us for the next two and a half years)

With no response from him from either IRC or email, I sent a text asking him to please let me know that he was alive and well.   I got a very brief one back stating he was alive but didn’t feel like talking.   As this did little to allay my fears, and gave no other reason for his withdrawal, you can imagine that I was feeling somewhere around DefCon 2.

I was not enjoying this sensation,  at all.

About Lady Lubyanka

I am a 45 year old musician, and also a multisexual, polyamourous, Jewish, socially dominant woman within my romantic BDSM relationships.
This entry was posted in BDSM, Me Me Me Me Me, Power Exchange, Psychology, Respect, serf, spanking, strapon, subspace. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Separation Anxiety

  1. Mistresssheree says:

    Beautiful Mistress thank you. I had the same problem with my slave. I have clear instructions to him now about these fears being expressed before they reach crisis point.
    There is a huge seperation “ACHE”. I can’t deny at times I have it myself when I can’t feel him under my feet!

  2. Lady Lubyanka says:

    Hi Sheree,

    Thanks for your comment. Of course one of the biggest problems is, that he can’t express those fears to Me if he thinks he’s not having them, or thinks the feelings relate to something else.

    He thought he was having a legitimate angry response to what he thought was Me calling him “obtuse”. kvetch didn’t know he was having separation anxiety, so he couldn’t express it.

    It’s been happening again lately. I’m not with him and he’s having unpleasant feelings which he is attributing to Me. I may make a post about it whenever it all gets resolved.

    I know what you mean about the ache when he’s not under your feet. :)

Spill yo oh-PIN-yunz after the tone ...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s