Flogging, Anyone?

 

 
Saturday, 21 April, 2007, saw my third attendance at what might be referred to as a public “fetish” event.   But first, a rant.
 
 

Rant About Terms

 
I’m not all that fond of the term “fetish”.   Dictionary.app from Mac OSX defines “fetish” in this context as:
 

“fetish |ˌfɛtɪʃ|
noun
a course of action to which one has an excessive and irrational commitment : he had a fetish for writing more opinions each year than any other justice.
 
a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc. : Victorian men developed fetishes focusing on feet, shoes, and boots.“

 
I would like to know, who decided what was an “abnormal” degree of linkage for sexual gratification, or what counts as “excessive” or “irrational”.   Clearly, it’s not “abnormal”, “excessive”, or “irrational” for the person in possession of the desire or behaviour.   And just as clearly, it’s equally not “abnormal”, “excessive”, or “irrational” for other people who share that desire or behaviour.   I do not like hearing people describing people’s habits and desires as “irrational”, “excessive”, or “abnormal”  (unless of course they are very unusual for the individuals themselves, as in, a sudden change of habits).

I find that bigotry and other kinds of disrespect can disguise themselves in words such as these, and I don’t like it.

I like leather, probably more than most of the people in the world, but probably no more than a surprisingly undeclared proportion of the population.   I do not regard my preference for leather to be abnormal, irrational, or excessive  for me.   I like it exactly the right amount for me  (obviously :p ).   Some people like rubber, some people like PVC (Poly Vinyl Chloride).

There are businesses which can generate enough income selling clothing items made of “fetishy” materials, which indicates the presence of a significant proportion of the population which can support such a business.   Is marriage considered a fetish?   What about chinese food?
 
 
I feel similarly about the term “kinky” or “kink”, and also the term “deviant”, which are defined thusly in Dictionary.app:
 

“kinky |ˌkɪŋki|
adjective  (kinkier , kinkiest)
informal involving or given to unusual sexual behavior.
(of clothing) sexually provocative in an unusual way: kinky underwear.
 
informal: a kinky relationship: PERVERSE, abnormal, deviant, unconventional, unnatural, degenerate, depraved, perverted;
informal: pervy.“
 
 
“deviant |ˌdiːvɪənt|
adjective
departing from usual or accepted standards, esp. in social or sexual behavior : deviant behavior | a deviant ideology. chiefly offensive: homosexual.“

 
 
Unusual behaviour for whom?   Sexually provocative in an unusual way for whom?   Departing from standards accepted by whom?   Not by me, that’s certain.   So I stick to terms such as “preferences”, “likes”, or similar.   But it’s difficult to find a concise term for an event such as Saturday’s, which has a BDSM theme, without using the term “fetish”.   For the purposes of this post, I will use the term “BDSM night”.

(by the way, BDSM is a term [as well as that particular web page] which I particularly like, as it’s concise and descriptive, and encompasses a whole range of orientations)

So, anyhow, having dispensed with the obligatory rant……
 
 

Getting Fooded

 
The night before the event, kvetch had taken me out to Yamamori, which is becoming a bit of a tradition.   Usually I’ve been knocking myself out on kvetch’s outfit in the weeks prior to the event, and usually kvetch likes to food me to show his appreciation, as he knows that’s a gift I will totally appreciate.   Plus, he gets to enjoy the food too, so, spin the wheel, everybody’s a winner.   :D   Japanese cuisine is really my favourite of every genre of food I’ve tried, even after all these years of pursuing the many and varied droolworthy wonders of taste I’ve encountered.   Yamamori is a bit pricier than I’d like, but on a special occasion, it’s worth it. :)
 

A Note About Being Fooded  -  I prefer to be fooded inexpensively.   It is quite possible, probable, and even likely, that a perfectly exquisite meal can be had for not very much money.   Paying more, in my experience, does not always, or even often, get one more.   I can, and have been, nauseated, by the price of a meal being too high, which can put a bit of a dampener on the whole fooding experience.   One way of putting this could be  -  I like to be a cheap date.   Read into that what you will.   ;)

 
 

Preparing Kvetch’s Outfit

 
So, I got beautifully fooded as thanks for what I’d done during the week leading up to Saturday, which was mostly spent rather frantically sewing and fitting kvetch’s outfit, customising it to my specifications.   I’d already done the trousers for the previous event we’d attended, so there was the waistcoat and shirt to do still.   The long and short of it was, that I’d altered the trousers so that they were more or less backless, and now I was altering the shirt and waistcoat to be similar.   I had an outfit I’d put together which was something along the lines of a hot, stern headmistress, and I was dressing kvetch  (at least from the front)  to appear as a kind of geeky teacher, the kind who might be in charge of the chess club, and the science club, who might be required to appear in my office for a spot of discipline. ;)

That was from the front, anyhow. From the back, of course, it would be clear that he was less a geeky teacher, and more, sort of, my total slut.   :D
 
 

Arriving Late

 
Having been up til Stupid O’Clock the night before, finishing the shirt, I had a nap in the afternoon, and rather predictably overslept, waking up in a panic at 21:55  (the event started officially at 21:00).   I wasn’t alone, kvetch had overslept too, having been up for the bulk of the night as well, for fittings.   I’d set my alarm for 19:00, but remember groggily turning it off.   So I started shoving kvetch in a wakey-up way:
 

“Hey, wake up! It’s five to ten!!”

 
Fortunately, both of us having spent quite a bit of time in our outfits already, what with me having tried out bits of mine in test runs during the past month, and with all of kvetch’s fittings, it was straightforward enough to just throw the clothes on and run out the door.   So we got there around 10:45 which wasn’t too bad, considering.   we met up with a few people we’d arranged to meet there, explained why we were late, and settled down for drinks and socialising in our favourite place, near the double sided A-Frame.   Presently, a space became available on one side of the A-Frame, and I took kvetch up to play.
 
 

Playing With Kvetch

 
Last time, I’d spent a lot of time using shorter implements, doing more close work, because the only parts of him which were exposed to me in his outfit were his buttocks and legs, as the trousers were backless but the shirt and waistcoat were not.   On this occasion, since his back, buttocks and legs were available for use, I reverted back to my favourites, the floggers.   Or, more specifically, my beautiful, fragrant, well balanced horsehide flogger, and my leather barbed wire flogger, and My ball-and-chain flogger, all crafted with elegance and style by Jack, and featured below, with a pen included for scale.
 

 
I started by warming kvetch  (and myself)  up with the horsehide flogger.   Holy.   Fuck.   I love that flogger.   The smell comes off it so strongly, it’s just intoxicating, and very much part of the experience for both myself and my play partners.   I worked it up and down his body.   The falls are fairly weighty, can be slapped onto the back, and allowed to drift downwards slowly, making for a really sensual experience.   I alternated between slow, strokey strikes, and harder, faster ones, combined with regular checks to see how he was doing, during which time I’d use my leather gloved hand, stroking his head, his neck, back, buttocks and so on, checking for excessive heat coming from any particular areas of his skin which I might need to watch out for.

When I felt he  (and I)  were warmed up enough, I moved on to the barbed leather flogger, which is a great deal lighter, and so trickier to use accurately, and which has quite a bit of sting and bite to it.   It also has this property which the horsehide flogger doesn’t have, which is that it can be swung in a circle very fast, and the falls will all stay together in the swing, so I can use it to just skim the tips over his skin very fast, repeatedly.   I was being assisted in this endeavor by a sub I am considering taking on, whom we had arranged to meet at the venue.   At this point, I asked him to go fetch me a pint glass of iced water, to put the ball-and-chain flogger into.   As I wasn’t away from kvetch for more than a few seconds doing this, he was not aware what was happening with the glass, and he was in for a bit of a shock when I trailed the chilled metal falls over his skin, hehehe.   :)

I mean, there he was, getting all nice and relaxed and turned on by the sensual flogging I was giving him, and then I trail the cold, wet, metal falls down from his neck, and he says:
 

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh KERRRRRRRRRISTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
Nothing like a wee bit of feedback from one’s  victim,  er, I mean play partner, to let one know how he’s doing.   ;)

Ok, so I’m ever so slightly evil I mean mischievous, sue me.   :p

That metal flogger, by the way, is much, much  much  too dangerous to use hard, and I never ever use it hard. It is for sensation play  only.

So I alternated between those three floggers, and my gloved hand, with regular checks to see how kvetch was doing, pausing only to put a mask on him, as I was getting some of the strikes near his face, because I wanted him to be able to smell the leather.   But I didn’t want anything to catch him in the eyes, and anyhow, sensory deprivation is kind of hot, so I put the mask on him.
 
 

Evening’s End Creeps Up

 
After awhile, I began to feel an intense need for a cigarette, as I’d not had any in some time  (I wasn’t sure at that point exactly how long).   So I wound it down and called it a day, and was surprised to find, from our friends, that we’d been up there for around an hour.   I had a vague awareness that players had come and gone from the other side of the A-Frame, but hadn’t paid them much attention.

When I’m playing, I get in this kind of zone, where I am intensely focused on my play partner.   I don’t notice that I’m in that zone when I’m in it, I only know later, because people tell me about things which were going on right beside me which I hadn’t noticed in the slightest, and I’m usually very alert and aware of my environment.   It’s kind of like being blinkered, I suppose.   It takes me a wee while to come down from it, kind of a heightened state of awareness, but within a very narrow field.   If I am disturbed when I’m like that, with something not relevant to the scene, then I find it difficult to respond appropriately, as I’m so focused on the other thing, I’m not really able to address the new thing.   I don’t think I’m alone in this, and this is why  it is so important to keep clear of play without interrupting unless invited to join in.

During play, I had been vaguely aware of people standing beside me and sometimes getting in the way a wee bit, but I was able to disregard that as they  (mostly)  moved out of the way when necessary.   I was also vaguely aware of some people watching whom I knew, and whom I wished to avoid like the plague.   That’s a bit of another story…..
 

The short version is, that they live in my area, and run a local BDSM group which is more wildly unsafe than even I can comfortably imagine. Suffice it to say, my experience of them is that they think “consent” is something which applies  only  to themselves and those people in whom they choose to respect it.   There is enough to this topic to make a standalone post about, so I won’t go into that here.

 
Anyhow, after having tripped along gasping, to have my cigarette, we  (kvetch is the keeper of the cigarettes and lights them when I require, so sweet :) )  came back for more socialising, which was thoroughly enjoyable.   During that, I met a person I’d previously seen on alt.com, and also chatted with one time on IRC.   we had a very pleasant time, and went along to Charlies II to get a snack afterwards when chucking-out time from the event came, as always, way too soon.

The next one will be 26 May, and will be a celebration of the two-year anniversary of the local BDSM group. This time I intend to start work on the outfits somewhat earlier.
 

I said that last time, too.   :p

 
 
And now, The Outfits:
 

 
A wave, a smile, and a wink, from

Lubyanka.   :)