BDSM Horror Stories In Ireland

 
This is my appeal to any readers in the North or the Republic of Ireland.

I would be very interested in hearing from anybody out there who has personally experienced any unpleasantness directly relating to

• the bdsmireland yahoo group
• Club Hysteria
• Nimhneach
• any munches in the North or the Republic of Ireland
• any BDSM-related events in the North or the Republic of Ireland
• any BDSM-related groups in the North or the Republic of Ireland
• any BDSM-related personal encounters in the North or the Republic of Ireland
• any BDSM-related abuse with any person in the North or the Republic of Ireland
• any BDSM-related unpleasantness which you have never been able to tell anybody, which happened anywhere within the North or the Republic of Ireland

 
Am I the only one this stuff happens to?

Are your experiences similar to mine?

If you would like to share your stories in complete confidence, please write to me at
 

LubyankaBlog  at  gmail  dot  com

 
I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you.
 
 

Update – 9 December, 2008

 
A comment was submitted for publication here, which contained the following queries which I felt were worth addressing  (and which I have summarised).
 

im wondering why you are asking for peoples unpleasant stories rather than positive ones, im merely curious is all.

I have had more unpleasant stories about online relationships [...] online encounters have been unpleasant yet i dont see these listed above.

[...] i dont like to see that there is negative attitude here towards the bdsm groups in ireland. i see the request for ppl to share ‘unpleasant’ stories as a way to ‘tar’ or ‘attack’ the bdsm community

[...] why is there no request for positive feedback, i am only merely curious. it seems an odd request to look for this information from strangers.

 
 
1.   Why request unpleasant stories instead of positive feedback?
 
As you may have noticed, positive feedback may be, and in fact  is  freely published everywhere, without fear of recriminations.   Positive feedback is more or less universally welcomed and celebrated.

Note that these queries were posed in a comment submitted for publication, and not in a private email.   This person clearly felt no concern about enduring any unpleasant recriminations from their remarks.

If  it were already possible to freely publish unpleasant feedback within the community, and  if  the people responsible for attending to these matters always responded to unpleasant feedback with efforts to put it right, then I would hardly need to write this post, because all of my queries would have been freely and widely addressed elsewhere already.   Not only would I have no need to ask people  (strangers)  to write to me privately, but those people  (strangers)  would have  no need  to write to me privately.

Clearly, this is not the case right now.   There’s a lot to say, but there is currently no place to  safely  say it.
 
 
2.   Why try to ‘tar’ or ‘attack’ the bdsm community?
 
I’m interested to note that you seem to think that unpleasant truths are by definition a ‘negative attitude’, or an attempt to ‘tar’ or ‘attack’ anybody.   Why would I want to do that anyhow?   I cannot think of a single reason why attacking the BDSM community, of which I am a member, would benefit me.   I can’t make any sense out of your premise.

Telling the truth, however unpleasant it may be, can hardly be accurately characterised as negative, tarring or attacking  anybody.   Facts stand alone, without value judgements, and regardless of any personal bias.

I’m also interested to note that from what you say, positive feedback is ok with you, but other kinds of feedback are not.   I read from what you wrote that somehow, the less positive kinds of feedback appear to leave you feeling like the messenger is at fault for their ‘negative attitude’, or for attempting to ‘tar’ or ‘attack’.  

As it happens, I’ve found that the double-standards featured in these kinds of victim-blaming, messenger-shooting strategies are commonplace in our community, unfortunately.
 
 
3.   Why not include online dating in your list of requests?
 
If anybody wants to talk to me about any unpleasantness from dating online or in-person individuals, then I am of course more than willing listen attentively.   I do agree that it’s important to share information about people who are habitual abusers.   My experience is that this kind of information has unfortunately also been frequently moderated invisibly, so I would welcome information about that, if anybody wants to share it.   Perhaps some pertinent details about a few specific persistent perpetrators will come to light, which can only improve everybody’s safety.

I too have had unpleasant dating experiences with individuals, both online and in-person.   So by all means, if you want to, please do write to me with the details of any transgressing online daters you’ve come across, or on anything else I haven’t included.
 
 
 
Just a couple of quick notes to finish off:

I got a phone call asking me about this post.   I’ve never had a phone call specifically about a post I’ve published before, not once since April 2007 when I started this blog.   I’m not really sure what to make of that call.   It was odd.   I was told that this post might be open to misinterpretation, but despite my asking several times, the caller wouldn’t say misinterpretation of  what.

For the people who have written to me so far  -  Please be aware that I am working on replies to your messages, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

 

Moderator Mails – Part The Second

 

Indexathon Two   (continued from Part The First)
 
From  valpone_a,  23 March
Commentary
From me, 24 March
From  valpone_a,  24 March
From me, 25 March
From  valpone_a,  25 March
Commentary
From  fig367,  1 April
Commentary
From  valpone_a,  6 April
Commentary
From  valpone_a,  6 April, second message
From  fig367,  19 April
From me, 20 April
From  valpone_a,  20 April
Commentary
From  fig367,  21 April
From me, 21 April
From  fig367,  22 April
Commentary

 

 

Ten days after being advised that I was welcome at Nimhneach on 14 March, without any warning or advance notice or anything, this arrived.

 

 
From:   Valpone
Subject:   Ref: BDSM Ireland Request
Date:   23 March 2009 21:17:22 GMT
To:   Lubyanka
Cc:   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
Hello Lubyanka

I am back from my vacation and with net access once more.   I was disappointed that you had not contacted me with any questions you may have regarding my request for your graceful departure from the BDSM Ireland Yahoo Group.   Alas it is a sad situation when you can find the time to speculate in your blog but not feel able to contact me directly.

With this in mind and after again checking out your blog, I have come to conclusion that you have no interest in direct contact with me and your intention is to use this as a public “cause celebre”.   Unfortunately the conspiracy theory you seem to have woven can not be resolved to your satisfaction as like so many conspiracy theories it will have a dynamic of its own.

With regret I will be removing you from the BDSM Ireland Yahoo Group as I’m under the impression that this would be best for you and us.   Your current fixation as well as general unhappiness with the group would best be served by this course of action.

I wish you well with your new group and the future.

Regards

Valpone

Back To Indexathon
 

 

As I have said before, I wish to state for the record that not one moderator has  ever  contacted me to discuss or negotiate  anything  at all  (even though their new rules state that their policy is to do so).   I was  never  presented with one  single  rule or policy which I was supposed to have transgressed.   And aside from having my bdsmireland posts moderated, I was never asked to modify my behaviour in any way.
 
How is that supposed to be respect and support for negotiation?
 
After receiving the above email, I thought it was worth checking again whether any similar sanctions were going to be imposed upon me at Nimhneach, since the same people run both organisations.   So I sent the following message to find out.

 
Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   Lubyanka
Subject:   Nimhneach
Date:   24 March 2009 20:24:48 GMT
To:   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
Cc:   fetish@fetish.ie
 
Please confirm if the sanctions you have implemented against me apply to Nimhneach. Will I be welcome at Nimhneach in future?

Lady Lubyanka’s blogfestness
Food, Flogging, and Rubber Chickens
(celebrating the spleen)
featuring Irving as the rubber chicken
http://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/

Any messages sent to me may be published on my blog.

Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   Valpone
Subject:   Re: Nimhneach
Date:   24 March 2009 22:46:52 GMT
To:   Lubyanka
Cc:   fetish@fetish.ie, bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
Hello Lubyanka

As you are aware BDSM Ireland does not organise Nimhneach and is not party to their door policy. Would you in future correspond with them directly rather than copying them in to your e-mails.

Thank you in advance for your understanding.

Regards

Valpone

— On Tuesday, 24 March, 2009, 20:24 GMT, Lubyanka wrote:

Please confirm if the sanctions you have implemented against me apply to Nimhneach. Will I be welcome at Nimhneach in future?

Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   Lubyanka
Subject:   Nimhneach
Date:   25 March 2009 10:58:30 GMT
To:   Fig, fetish@fetish.ie
Cc:   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
Since it appears that my previous mail may have gone astray, I will try again.

Please confirm if the sanctions you have implemented against me apply to Nimhneach. Will I be welcome at Nimhneach in future?

Lady Lubyanka’s blogfestness
Food, Flogging, and Rubber Chickens
(celebrating the spleen)
featuring Irving as the rubber chicken
http://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/

Any messages sent to me may be published on my blog.

Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   Valpone
Subject:   Re: Nimhneach
Date:   25 March 2009 13:14:29 GMT
To:   Fig, fetish@fetish.ie, Lubyanka
 
Hello Lubyanka

Would it be possible for you to not include BDSM Ireland in your e-mail correspondence regarding Nimhneach events in Ireland. As you are aware we as a Group do not have any responsibility for this event. Your e-mails would be best addressed directly to those concerned.

Regards

Valpone

— On Wednesday, 25 March, 2009, 10:58 GMT, Lubyanka wrote:

Since it appears that my previous mail may have gone astray, I will try again.

Please confirm if the sanctions you have implemented against me apply to Nimhneach. Will I be welcome at Nimhneach in future?

Back To Indexathon
 

 

fig367  didn’t reply, so after a week on 31 March, I posted about it indicating that unless I heard from him, I would assume I was welcome.

True to form,  fig367  replied after I posted.   Of course, he wasn’t actually using his own name, but then again, that is also true to form.

I knew something was up because the language was just too evasive to be straightforward.

Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   nimhneach <nimhneach@hushmail.com>
Subject:   Re: Nimhneach
Date:   1 April 2009 19:12:59 IST
To:   Lubyanka
 
—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—–
Hash: SHA1

Hi.

You are receiving this email as the Nimhneach response in regards
to attendance at our event.

All guests, who have not been previously informed otherwise, may
gain entry to the next event on meeting the appropriate dress code.
The guidelines for the club are on our website at www.nimhneach.ie

Regards,

Nimhneach.

On Wednesday, 25 March 2009 10:58:30 GMT, Lubyanka wrote:

Since it appears that my previous mail may have gone astray, I will try again.

Please confirm if the sanctions you have implemented against me apply to Nimhneach.   Will I be welcome at Nimhneach in future?

 
—–BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE—–
Charset: UTF8
Note: This signature can be verified at https://www.hushtools.com/verify
Version: Hush 3.0
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Back To Indexathon
 

 

Two and a half weeks after that, this message arrived.   There were a few odd-looking headers in the following message which lead me to believe that this message was sent to me intentionally.   None of these headers were present in  valpone_a’s  prior emails to me.
 
Readnotify.com is an email tracking service.   Why  valpone_a  felt the need to track his bogus email to me I just don’t know.   Whatever.
 
Back To Indexathon
 

 
Resent-From:   valpone_a@[emaildomain].cwavlwrdrvjlgpi.emsvr.com
From:   Valpone
Subject:   Lunch Saturday 25
Date:   6 April 2009 14:38:49 IST
To:   Lubyanka
 
Disposition-Notification-To:   “them” <valpone_a@[emaildomain].cwavlwrdrvjlgph.emsvr.com>
X-Confirm-Reading-To:   valpone_a@[emaildomain].cwavlwrdrvjlgph.emsvr.com
Return-Receipt-To:   valpone_a@[emaildomain].cwavlwrdrvjlgph.emsvr.com
Notice-Requested-Upon-Delivery-To:   valpone_a@[emaildomain].cwavlwrdrvjlgpi.emsvr.com
Errors-To:   valpone_a@[emaildomain].cwavlwrdrvjlgpi.emsvr.com
X-Read-Notification:   Courtesy of ReadNotify.com – http://www.8lvxtadjn2avp1.ReadNotify.com
 
Hi

Just picked up your message on my phone and I’m glad to hear your visiting Amsterdam. Been long time no see and we have a lot to chat about. Its a great time to visit as most of the place will be Orange, there getting ready to start Queens Days celebrations at the end of this month so even happier your still going to be around then. Lots of street parties, markets and drunken Dutch. Will drop a better e-mail later just in a mad rush today.

V

Back To Indexathon
 

 

The contents of the message clearly indicate that  valpone_a  is resident in Amsterdam.   So why have people moderate bdsmireland if they live far away from Ireland?   And why assign one of those specifically to me?
 
But wait, there’s more!   The following message had more of these tracking headers.   Perhaps this was  valpone_a’s  effort to try again after his first attempt didn’t work.
 
So, half an hour later …

 

 
Resent-From:   valpone_a@[emaildomain].nyjcmameltwcenk.emsvr.com
From:   Valpone
Subject:   Re: Lunch Saturday 25
Date:   6 April 2009 15:04:11 IST
To:   Lubyanka
 
Disposition-Notification-To:   “them” <valpone_a@[emaildomain].nyjcmameltwcena.emsvr.com>
X-Confirm-Reading-To:   valpone_a@[emaildomain].nyjcmameltwcena.emsvr.com
Return-Receipt-To:   valpone_a@[emaildomain].nyjcmameltwcena.emsvr.com
Notice-Requested-Upon-Delivery-To:   valpone_a@[emaildomain].nyjcmameltwcenk.emsvr.com
Errors-To:   valpone_a@[emaildomain].nyjcmameltwcenk.emsvr.com
X-Read-Notification:   Courtesy of ReadNotify.com – http://www.fs9gpl72hpy5e1.ReadNotify.com
 
Hello Lubyanka

Sorry just realised I sent this to the wrong person. Apologies for disturbing you please ignore my last e-mail.

Regards

Valpone

— On Monday, 6 April, 2009, 2:38 GMT, Valpone wrote:

Hi

Just picked up your message on my phone and I’m glad to hear your visiting Amsterdam. Been long time no see and we have a lot to chat about. Its a great time to visit as most of the place will be Orange, there getting ready to start Queens Days celebrations at the end of this month so even happier your still going to be around then. Lots of street parties, markets and drunken Dutch. Will drop a better e-mail later just in a mad rush today.

V

Back To Indexathon
 

 

And two weeks later, again without any advance notice, discussion, negotiation or warning, this arrived …

 

 
From:   Fig
Subject:   nimhneach
Date:   19 April 2009 10:01:58 IST
To:   Lubyanka
 
—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—–
Hash: SHA1

hi Lubyanka,

I regret to inform you that you are no longer welcome to Nimhneach.
If you show up you will be turned away at the door.

Regards,
Fig
—–BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE—–
Note: This signature can be verified at https://www.hushtools.com/verify
Charset: UTF8
Version: Hush 3.0
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Back To Indexathon
 

 

The following exchange occurred shortly after the message above, but because I thought the whole thing was finished, I didn’t bother publishing them.   Since I am unfortunately still subject to harassment from these people, I thought that I might as well publish them now, for completeness.

 

 
From:   Lubyanka
Subject:   Re: nimhneach
Date:   20 April 2009 09:18:44 IST
To:   Fig
Cc:   nimhneach@hushmail.com, fetish@fetish.ie, bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
Hello Fig,

Why are you banning me from Nimhneach, and for how long?

Lubyanka.

Lady Lubyanka’s blogfestness
Food, Flogging, and Rubber Chickens
(celebrating the spleen)
featuring Irving as the rubber chicken
http://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/

Any messages sent to me may be published on my blog.

Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   Valpone
Subject:   Re: nimhneach
Date:   20 April 2009 12:19:58 IST
To:   Fig, Lubyanka
Cc:   nimhneach@hushmail.com, fetish@fetish.ie, bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
Hello Lubyanka

BDSM Ireland does not run or organise Nimhneach in any way or form.   Please do not include BDSM Ireland in your e-mails.   You would seem to have more than enough e-mail address’s to correspond with the organisers without including ours.

Regards

Valpone

Back To Indexathon
 

 

I was going to say something here about the kind of person who insists on sending repetitive messages, over and over again, which are unrelated to the original content, and which are in reply to messages not addressed to him.
 
But then I thought about all the people who read this blog, and I realised that you are all  quite  clever enough to work out for yourselves  just  what kind of person insists on doing that sort of thing.
 
So I’ll leave you good people to complete the sums for yourselves.   :)

 
Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   Fig
Subject:   Re: nimhneach
Date:   21 April 2009 16:14:34 IST
To:   Lubyanka
Cc:   fetish@fetish.ie
 
—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—–
Hash: SHA1

Lubyanka,

The Nimhneach organisers reserve the right to refuse admission to
anyone who has a detrimental effect on our guests and/or the event
as a whole.

The refusal to admit you to Nimhneach will be enforced indefinitely
from this point onwards.

Regards
Fig
—–BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE—–
Note: This signature can be verified at https://www.hushtools.com/verify
Charset: UTF8
Version: Hush 3.0
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Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   Lubyanka
Subject:   Re: nimhneach
Date:   21 April 2009 22:24:34 IST
To:   Fig
Cc:   fetish@fetish.ie, nimhneach@hushmail.com, bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
Fig,

On 21 Apr 2009, at 16:14, Fig wrote:

The Nimhneach organisers reserve the right to refuse admission to
anyone who has a detrimental effect on our guests and/or the event
as a whole.

Specifically,
- what is the detrimental effect you are referring to?
- which Nimhneach attendees have been affected by it?
- how have they been affected by it?
- how was the effect on them detrimental?
- how was I connected to or responsible for any of that?

Specifically,
- at which Nimhneach event did the detrimental effect you referred to take place?
- how was that event affected by it?
- how was the Nimhneach event as a whole affected by it?
- how was that effect detrimental to Nimhneach on that occasion?
- how was that effect detrimental to the Nimhneach event as a whole?
- how was I connected to or responsible for any of that?

Where, how, and from whom did you source your information about the detrimental effect you referred to, my contribution to it, and the related consequences thereafter?

If I was responsible for such a detrimental effect on specific Nimhneach, attendees, events, and the Nimhneach event as a whole, why did you say nothing to me about this during my previous two and a half years of attending Nimhneach?

I look forward to your clarification.

Lubyanka.

Lady Lubyanka’s blogfestness
Food, Flogging, and Rubber Chickens
(celebrating the spleen)
featuring Irving as the rubber chicken
http://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/

Any messages sent to me may be published on my blog.

Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   Fig
Subject:   Re: nimhneach
Date:   22 April 2009 16:01:56 IST
To:   Lubyanka
Cc:   fetish@fetish.ie
 
—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—–
Hash: SHA1

Lubyanka,

Nimhneach organiser’s decisions are final.   No further correspondance will be entered into.

Regards
Fig
—–BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE—–
Note: This signature can be verified at https://www.hushtools.com/verify
Charset: UTF8
Version: Hush 3.0
—–END PGP SIGNATURE—–

Back To Indexathon
 

 

When I think about what negotiation means to me, no matter how I look at it, I cannot fit  fig367’s  message into that definition.   So much for respect for negotiation.   Perhaps he respects negotiation from afar?
 
I was going to say something here about my thoughts on the repeated and persistent assertions that bdsmireland/Nimhneach are completely unrelated and unconnected, despite the fact that the same people run both organisations.   Plus, you know, the two near simultaneous bans, both without reasons given, both against me, both without advance notice, warning, or negotiation.   But I know you don’t need me to spell it all out for you.   I know that all of you are quite smart enough to figure that out all by yourselves.   :)
 
Perhaps some of you could help me.   If anybody out there knows why I was banned from bdsmireland/Nimhneach, then you know more than I do.   Since the bdsmireland/Nimhneach people appear to be less than forthcoming, I’d appreciate any enlightenment you can offer.
 
Thank you for that, and thank you for reading.   :)

 

 
ps:     Perhaps they didn’t want to say why they banned me  -  I’m told that giving reasons such as  “you suck!!“  can sometimes lead people into mistakenly believing that you are unfair, biased, dictatorial, disrespectful and unconsensual.

Who knew …   :p
 

Moderator Mails – Part The First

 

Indexathon One   (continued from Part The Intro)
 
From me, 11 February
From  fig367,  11 February
From me, 11 February, second message
From  fig367,  12 February
From me, 12 February
From  valpone_a,  7 March
From  valpone_a,  7 March, to the bdsmireland yahoo group
Commentary
From  valpone_a,  9 March
Commentary
From me, 12 March
From  fig367,  13 March

 

 
This first message is a post I’d written and submitted for publication in bdsmireland-personals.   I was responding to a post from another member in which he wanted to know why nobody had taken him up on any of his previous sexual solicitations.   I wrote the following message in response.
 

 
From:   Lubyanka
Subject:   Re: [bdsmireland-personals] Why no follow up
Date:   11 February 2009 15:55:42 GMT
To:   bdsmireland-personals@yahoogroups.com
 
In case you find it useful, I offer my take on why you’ve had no follow up on your situation.

I’m sure you genuinely feel that you are making a sincere offer.   However, asking a non-pro man to whip and fuck you sounds less like an offer, and more like a specific request (at least to me).   If you have had responses from pro doms, perhaps this might be because like me, your messages read to them like specific services you’re seeking.

If you want a relative stranger to whip and fuck you, then that will limit your choice of possible partners to those who prefer to be on the other side of that scenario. If you want a relative stranger to whip and fuck you, and you seek only a relative stranger to specifically whip and fuck you in particular, then perhaps a pro might be your best option.

After all, pro doms offers BDSM as a service, and they can fulfill all of the criteria you’re seeking.

On the other hand, if you feel that you can be flexible about the activities you want to participate in, and if you feel that you can include another person’s desires in your fantasy scenarios, then this is likely to appeal to a much larger group of potential partners.

I wish you luck, I hope you find somebody.

Best regards,

Lubyanka.

Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   fig367
Subject:   Message not approved: Why no follow up
Date:   11 February 2009 22:16:02 GMT
To:   Lubyanka
 
not relevent as he’s asking for guys

Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   Lubyanka
Subject:   Re: Message not approved: Why no follow up
Date:  11 February 2009 23:35:25 GMT
To:   bdsmireland-personals-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
Although the guy was seeking other guys for sex, according to the subject line he was generally asking “Why no follow up”, which is what I was answering.

It seems a shame that my message was rejected because its author has a vagina.

Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   fig367
Subject:   Message not approved: Why no follow up
Date:  12 February 2009 20:26:06 GMT
To:   Lubyanka
 
—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—–
Hash: SHA1

your post was not relevent because your post was talking about girls.

—–BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE—–
Note: This signature can be verified at https://www.hushtools.com/verify
Charset: UTF8
Version: Hush 3.0
—–END PGP SIGNATURE—–

Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   Lubyanka
Subject:   Re: Message not approved: Why no follow up
Date:  12 February 2009 20:47:23 GMT
To:  bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
Where was I solely talking about women?

Lady Lubyanka’s blogfestness
Food, Flogging, and Rubber Chickens
(celebrating the spleen)
featuring Irving as the rubber chicken
http://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/

Back To Indexathon
 

 

The next day I began receiving abusive contact from  fig367,  perpetrated under his  dunravin2002  sock puppet alias.   He sent me his  abuse  messages on 13, 17 and 25 February.
 
Ten days after that, the first email from  valpone_a  arrived.

 

 
From:   Valpone
Subject:   Moderator Request
Date:   7 March 2009 12:31:03 GMT
To:   Lubyanka
Cc:   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
Dear Lubyanka

If I may take this time to introduce myself.   I’m Valpone and I’m one of the BDSM Ireland Moderators.   I realize that we have not met in person and have had no contact before this e-mail.   It has fallen to me to contact you with regards to recent posts and activity within the group.

It is clear that you are not happy with the way the group is moderated you have spent a lot of time and energy making your many points to not only the Moderators but to the world at large via your blog.   Personally I have no great interest in the blogging activity you have been undertaking other than as proof of your deep dissatisfaction with the way we work as Moderators.

BDSM Ireland is not the only group that operates in Ireland there are other groups which you may be happier to be associated with, alternatively you may wish to spend some of your energy and time in a more constructive way and form your own group to run as you wish.   That would better demonstrate you’re ideas of how a group should be run.   Whichever way you may wish to move in the future it will not be with BDSM Ireland.

I am as you may already have guessed requesting that you remove yourself from the BDSM Ireland   Group’s.   If you have any questions please feel free to contact me as I will be the sole contact for you from this point onwards.   No other Moderator will be responding to your e-mails.

If I may take this moment to wish you luck in your future efforts

Regards

Valpone

Moderator BDSM Ireland and BDSM Ireland Personals

Back To Indexathon
 

 

The following is a post in the bdsmireland yahoo group which  valpone_a  published about 36 seconds after he sent the above message to me.

 
Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   valpone_a
Subject:   [bdsmireland] Moderator Notice
Date:   7 March 2009 12:31:39 GMT
To:   bdsmireland@yahoogroups.com
 
The moderators would like to state that we try very hard not to let our personal opinions interfere in the posts going through, even if the topic or the poster is distasteful to us.   We do not limit the right to free speech or peoples opinions outside the group guidelines ie, its legal, it’s not going to start / continue a flame war, it infringes a members’ right to privacy by naming them or describing them in such a way that they would be easily identifiable, or you have put your phone number in by mistake.   Normally we would reject these posts with the reason why and either ask for a repost, or for the topic to be taken offline.
The moderators attempt to to be fair and impartial, and this takes much work and nail chewing behind the scenes when we have to read each post and decide to pass or reject it.

If you feel that we have broken these guidelines and you are being unfairly restricted, then please feel free to set up your own group and run it as you think it should be done.   We have never stopped or attempted to stop any other groups / organisations and do not feel that we are or should be the ‘only sweetshop in town’.

It seems that some members do feel they have been unfairly restricted or put upon, and are not happy being members of BDSM-Ireland. .   The group is not a democracy, (we might have mentioned this before), so we can (and have done) ask people to leave the group as they are having a major negative effect on other members by their behaviour  -  Not because we don’t like them, and not because we don’t agree with their point of view, but because they have not respected group guidelines or other group members.

With regards to certain allegations that have been raised, we have investigated, and we are satisfied that they are not true.   IF there is any evidence that we have missed, then please let us know BY PRIVATE EMAIL and we will re-open the investigation.

Finally, please remember that moderators are people too, we have feelings, and we work damn hard at a sometimes thankless task and all we get is people taking potshots at us as we rejected one of their emails, or we looked at them funny at a munch, or you just didn’t like what we may/may not have been wearing at a fetish party.   We try our hardest to keep a civil board, organise munches where people can meet in safety, and then have our own safety and personal reputations put at risk by people either by mistake or maliciously.

Thats about it.   If you want to respond to us, please do so, if you wish to leave the group after this message, good luck.   If you are staying  -  thanks and hopefully we can move on from this.

Back To Indexathon
 

 

I think it’s  really  unfortunate that the bdsmireland/Nimhneach organisers feel so unthanked for all the trouble they take.
 
I remember reading some stuff about reputations before.
 
Anyhow, two days later, this arrived.

 
Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   Valpone
Subject:   Re: Moderator Request
Date:   9 March 2009 08:34:38 GMT
To:   Lubyanka
Cc:   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
Hello Lubyanka

I was hoping for a reply from you before today but as I have not received one as yet I thought a gentle reminder may be in order.   I’m away on Holiday today and will not be near an Internet connection for the next two weeks.   Not the best timing in the world but it cant be helped.   As stated in my earlier e-mail I will be the only moderator dealing with you and your posts from this point onwards.   Again sorry as this will place a delay on any of our correspondence.

Regards

Valpone

Back To Indexathon
 

 

This whole message confused me.   Honestly, I didn’t know what he wanted or expected me to reply to.   Reminder of what?
 
valpone_a  asked no questions, made a number of statements, and presented each statement as a fait accompli.   It seemed quite clear to me that all of his statements were closed to any and all discussion.   The whole message left me feeling quite confident that whatever was going to happen was going to happen without my input.
 
(as indeed it did)
 
valpone_a’s  assumption that I would feel some compulsion to argue or debate a closed matter was obviously misplaced.   But without any actual invitation to discuss or negotiate, I didn’t know what  valpone_a  was expecting me to say.
 
So I said nothing.
 
Since restrictions were imposed on me in bdsmireland without warning or any specified reason, I thought it would be prudent to check whether any similar restrictions would be imposed on me at Nimhneach on 14 March, before perhaps finding out at the door of the event.   So I sent the following message to request clarification.

 

 
From:   Lubyanka
Subject:   Nimhneach
Date:   12 March 2009 18:15:51 GMT
To:   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com
 
I sent this yesterday, and I see that fig367 is active on bdsmireland at the moment.   I hope it didn’t go to spam, so I will try again.

From:   Lubyanka
Subject:   Nimhneach
Date:   11 March 2009 23:58:49 GMT
To:   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com

Since my assigned personal moderator is without internet, and since in any case valpone_a is unrelated to the administration of Nimhneach, I hope you will do me the courtesy of responding to this message.

As on every other night I’ve attended Nimhneach over the past few years, I have no personal intentions other than to enjoy myself.

I would appreciate knowing explicitly if I would be welcome, and that there is no intent to hassle me from either organisers or crew.   Am I banned from Nimhneach?   If I arrived at Nimhneach, would I be turned away at the door?

Sincerely,

Lubyanka.

Lady Lubyanka’s blogfestness
Food, Flogging, and Rubber Chickens
(celebrating the spleen)
featuring Irving as the rubber chicken
http://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/

Any messages sent to me may be published on my blog.

Back To Indexathon
 

 
From:   fig367
Subject:   Re: Nimhneach
Date:   13 March 2009 10:17:07 GMT
To:   Lubyanka
 
—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—–
Hash: SHA1

hi Lubyanka,

Valphone should reply to your email on behalf of the bdsmireland moderators in due course.

Its only due to me being a mod on bdsmirland and a nimhneach organiser that I saw your email. Nimhneach and bdsmireland are seperate entities and your email should have been sent to fetish@fetish.ie or via the email facility on
http://www.nimhneach.ie

Regards your query, myself and the crew have no issue with your presence at nimhneach for the saturday 14th March 2009 event.

regards
Fig
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Back To Indexathon
 
 

Continued in Moderator Mails  -  Part The Second

 

Moderator Mails – Part The Intro

 
This post is the first of three for the convenience of anybody who hasn’t been reading this blog, and who has been wondering what’s up with me being banned from bdsmireland/Nimhneach.
 

Actually, I’ve been wondering the same thing.

 
Now that I come to look at all the correspondence all at once, it really does show very well precisely how the bdsmireland/Nimhneach people have been behaving.
 

(I didn’t even include any of the bile, vitriol and abuse I had from non-moderatey bdsmireland members or from the bdsmireland/Nimhneach crew hiding behind sock puppet names)

 
These posts simply present the official signed contact I have had from bdsmireland/Nimhneach people using their own names.   You can decide for yourselves what you think about it.

The abuses and transgressions of my consent in bdsmireland/Nimhneach had been ongoing for some considerable time before I started posting about them, as you may have seen in my recent post about the Galway munch on 16 September 2006.   After becoming utterly fed up with bdsmireland/Nimhneach people arbitrarily transgressing against me contrary to their own stated policies and for unspecified reasons, I began posting in this blog about my unpleasant experiences with them.   Unfortunately, this led to them escalating their abusive behaviour against me.

The second and third posts present the correspondence I have had with bdsmireland/Nimhneach organisers between 11 February and 22 April 2009.   Extra bonus features include some additional harassment from  valpone_a,  which he generously donated at no extra charge.
 
 

Some Notes On The Extra Bonus Features

 
I have never met  valpone_a,  nor have I ever had any dealings with him other than the messages he keeps sending at me.   My bdsmireland/Nimhneach enquiries sent to the bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com address were the closest I have ever come to participating in any contact with  valpone_a.   And even those were not addressed to him, he just received copies of them as all the moderators did.
 
The bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com address receives many emails with many queries, and every moderator receives a copy of every message.   It makes sense for each moderator to address those queries which fit their abilities, and to disregard those queries for which other moderators are better suited.
 
As a moderator,  valpone_a  can quite legitimately disregard queries about Dublin munches or other bdsmireland/Nimhneach-affiliated meetings in Ireland, because he lives far away from Ireland in The Netherlands.   Some bdsmireland moderators are also Nimhneach crew members, and I would expect those moderators to cover the Nimhneach queries.
 

valpone_a  himself has insisted many times that he is completely unaffiliated with Nimhneach.
 
valpone_a’s  choice to address bdsmireland/Nimhneach queries about a specific person’s attendance  solely  to irrelevantly deny that some individuals are both bdsmireland moderators  and  Nimhneach owner/crew members, is therefore quite pointless.

 
Since my queries were unrelated to the relationship status of bdsmireland/Nimhneach, and since my queries were addressed to people  other  than  valpone_a,  I don’t know why he kept choosing to hijack my bdsmireland/Nimhneach queries with unresponsive messages when other recipients of my queries were better equipped to address them.
 
In  valpone_a’s  other messages to me, he claimed to be seeking replies from me.   On the other hand, he never specified what exactly he expected me to reply to, and he never actually  gave  me anything to reply to.   His messages are constructed solely with:

• one-way information  (him to me)  thwarting two way discourse
• closed statements precluding response
• dictating terms
• refusal to engage with me
• edicts issued at me
• requests for my leaving bdsmireland based on
  • undisclosed reasons
  • undisclosed rule transgressions
  • undisclosed agenda on behalf of undisclosed person(s)
  • undisclosed criteria for decision making
  • undisclosed decisions
  • completed decisions
• fait accompli, no negotiation, unconsensual, abuse of power

 
valpone_a’s  tendency to state instead of ask left me feeling quite confident that the outcome was already decided regardless of my input.   (as indeed it was)
 
Despite  valpone_a’s  repeated and persistent messages targeting me, I have never initiated nor participated in any correspondence with him, and I have never responded to any of his messages.
 
Because I had no interactions  with   valpone_a   (only  from  him,  at  me),  whatever decisions and actions  valpone_a  has implemented at me were in response to information which was not disclosed to me.   Any specific issues which  valpone_a  had with me  (despite never having met him nor interacted with him)  were also not disclosed to me.   Since I was given no opportunity to address any of those issues, I cannot be responsible for any of  valpone_a’s  decisions or actions which targeted me.
 

So why has he been doing all this stuff to me?
 
I don’t know.   Nobody ever told me, even when I asked.

 
It is important to me to emphasise that every choice, decision, and action which  valpone_a  implemented against me was initiated and continued by him,  regardless  of anything I did or said.
 
And that’s pretty much all I know about  valpone_a’s  correspondence spewage.
 
 

And now  …   The Correspondence!

 
 

Continued in Moderator Mails  -  Part The First

 

Stuff I Didn’t Say

 
I just wanted to make something absolutely perfectly crystal clear.

Anybody can post anything anywhere on the internet pretending to be somebody else and say anything they like.   And anybody can say stuff quoting somebody else’s name, and anybody can say that they’re doing stuff on somebody else’s behalf with their full knowledge and consent.

Anybody can say any of that, and any of that may or may not be true.
 

I wanted to make it perfectly clear that in regard to the Irish kink scene, everything I’ve said about it has been published it here under my own name, or signed by me elsewhere with a reference to it published here on this blog.  

Anything else was said by other people, not by me.  

 
I have never said anything specific about the Irish kink scene on any other website, ever.   I submitted posts about it to the bdsmireland yahoo group, but the bdsmireland moderators moderated every one of those posts, and  all  of them were withheld from publication.   I can personally guarantee that everything I have ever specified about the Irish kink scene, I have specified right here on my blog.

Just in case there’s any confusion, here is a list of things I have never done in the context of the Irish kink scene:

• I have never asserted anything specific anywhere besides this blog
• I have never asked for support anywhere but here on my blog
• I have never asked anybody to send an email on my behalf
• I have never asked any person or group to act on my behalf
• I have never called for mass action of any kind
• I have never said anything without signing my name to it

 
My specific experiences of the Irish kink scene were only ever published here on this blog under my own name.   If I had things to say, I always specified them here, put my name to them, and supported them with whatever facts I had.

So if you’ve read any person or group discussing specific Irish kink-scene-related issues on any website other than this blog, or if you’ve come across any person or group calling for any action of any kind, publishing posts, or sending messages which I have not also mentioned and signed my name to right here on this blog, or if you’ve read anything specific about the Irish kink scene written by anybody claiming to be me or claiming to be acting on my behalf anywhere other than this blog, then I guarantee that it’s somebody else and that person or group is doing their thing entirely without my knowledge or consent.

Therefore I cannot be held responsible for saying anything about the Irish kink scene which I haven’t published and signed my name to right here on this blog.
 

One other thing  -  The content of all comments published here reflects the opinions and responsibility of the authors of those comments.   The only comments I am responsible for are the ones I sign my name to.   So if I haven’t signed my name to a comment, then I didn’t say it.   All comments are the responsibility of the people who wrote them.

 
So if anybody has opinions about me which are based on erroneous information from other websites such as I described above, I ask you to reassess your opinion based on the information which I have just provided.

Thank you.
 

Group Rules – Updated June 2009

 
Having dispensed with my commentary and thoughts about the bdsmireland group rules update, here are the rules in their entirety.
 
 

The bdsmireland Rules – June 2009

 
The rules as they appear here are the same rules which are published in the bdsmireland yahoo group.   I have reproduced these rules in full, complete in every detail, with no omissions of any kind.

New additions are indicated with red text.

Please see the notes at the bottom for details of certain specific additions and modifications which they added in response to me personally.
 
 

BDSMIRELAND GUIDELINES

WELCOME TO BDSMIRELAND   *updated*
GENERAL PRINCIPLES   *updated*
YAHOO PROFILES
INTRODUCTIONS
ATTENDING A MUNCH
PERSONAL ADS   *updated*
UNSOLICITED/PRIVATE CONTACT   *updated*
MODERATION OF POSTS   *updated*
BLOGS/PERSONAL WEB PAGES   *updated*
FLAMING / BULLYING & HARASSMENT   *updated*
ATTACHMENTS
PROMOTION OF OTHER GROUPS   *updated*
COMMERCIAL ADVERTISING   *updated*
NOTICE FOR PRO-DOMMES   *updated*
STUPID QUESTIONS
GENERAL QUERIES   *updated*
 

WELCOME TO BDSMIRELAND   *updated*

This is a reminder for members of the bdsmireland group about the guidelines governing participation here.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A GROUP FOR ADULTS AND WE EXPECT MEMBERS TO BEHAVE AS SUCH (even if your preferred role is adult baby!! <g>)

WE ARE NOT THE UN AND WE DO NOT OFFER A BABY-SITTING SERVICE :-)

This list / group was created to provide a forum for people with an interest in BDSM and who are based in Ireland to come together, to chat, to learn from each other, and to meet; however, those living beyond this island are also welcome.

Whether you have made your way here as a result of a personal recommendation by an existing list member or through a search of Yahoo! groups please take a moment to read the following guide to participation on this list.
 

GENERAL PRINCIPLES   *updated*

This list is founded on the principles of Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC), and/or Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)
Safe words, safe calls, negotiation, communication, agreement, consent, and common sense are all important to us, and we hope to members of the group.   For more information on what this means please ask on the list.

Keep it Legal!! No under-age activity, no bestiality, nothing un-consensual (you get the gist).
 

YAHOO PROFILES:

Please complete the profile section on Yahoo! groups.
Feel free to include as much detail as possible as you are comfortable sharing in a public space.   Bear in mind that this information is publicly available so discretion is advised.
 

INTRODUCTIONS:

Please introduce yourself to the list; contribute once in a while.
Make yourself comfortable here, get to know people, get a feel for the place.   Post an introduction whenever you are ready (not a personal ad, see below).   Tell us about your experiences to date, how you got interested and got involved with BDSM, how you found this discussion group and why you joined.
 

ATTENDING A MUNCH:

If you would like to attend a meeting/munch….
Contact the moderators (bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com) stating that you would like to come to a meet/munch.   Include a contact name and number and the date of the event which you would like to attend.
 

PERSONAL ADS:   *updated*

This list does not permit personal ads.
If you want people to know about your physical appearance and what you are seeking please feel free to complete a detailed profile in the appropriate section. Alternatively, subscribe to bdsmireland-personals (www.groups.yahoo.com/group/bdsmireland-personals/join).   People will get to know you from your contributions to the list and possibly from meeting at one of our social gatherings.   If they are interested they can and will check out your profile.   If you post a message using the following or similar phrasing it will not be approved: “I am looking for a.. ” or “I am seeking a…” etc.
This is considered a personal ad.

Please note that to be a member of BDSM Ireland-personals, you need to be a member of BDSM Ireland also.
 

UNSOLICITED/PRIVATE CONTACT:   *updated*

Please do not send private emails/IMs to list members unless you have their permission/consent or they have indicated in their profile that unsolicited contact is acceptable.
If you receive such an email/IM, simply delete it.   In the event of a problem/situation which you cannot resolve yourself please mail the moderators (bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com).
Please note that membership of bdsmireland-personals is considered an invitation to such contact.
(New!)  We would like to clarify that the moderators cannot be held accountable for contact off group e.g. by phone, private email, snail mail, video conference, text message etc.   If you are being pestered by someone then we would suggest that you advise them to stop.   If this continues, or you are worried by the contact (e.g. you feel that someone might be stalking you) then please go to your local law enforcement agency.
 

MODERATION OF POSTS:   *updated*

All members’ posts are moderated to begin with.
If you have any queries on this please contact the moderators at bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com

(New!)  Free speech is encouraged; the moderators WILL NOT edit your comments unless YOU request it prior to the message being approved.   However, the moderators reserve the right to  (a) <snip> posts which are quoting complete other posts for brevity and ease of reading for members who get daily digests  (b) Reject your message for editing by you if you use a real name or put your phone number by mistake.   We may carry out these edits for expediency in rare instances and mark it so.   Note that reposting is not a crime.   (c) Edit the post for readability i.e. add carriage returns where a user has cut and pasted a post from word

** We may not personally agree with your point of view, but we do agree with your right to say it (unless it contravenes the rules)
 

BLOGS/PERSONAL WEB PAGES   *updated*

(New!)  Links to Blogs/Personal Web Pages are permitted in emails to the group as long as they are not to anything illegal or to the detriment of people e.g. a web page that gathers people’s details or trying to sell Viagra (or something-like). Please feel free to add such details to your Yahoo profile as well. If such links are found, a request to remove them will be followed by further action by the moderators if necessary.
*Disclaimer* BDSMIreland is not responsible for external content.
 

FLAMING / BULLYING & HARRASSMENT:   *updated*

Please treat other list members with respect and courtesy.   How you behave to others on the list is a reflection of how you would behave with a Dom/me or sub.   Good manners cost nothing.
(New!)  Definitions:
Flaming: is a hostile and insulting interaction between users, generally in response to other posts or users posting on a site, where such a response is usually not constructive, and does not clarify or add to an ongoing discussion.
Bullying & Harrassment : This is humiliating or abusive behaviour that lowers a person’s self-esteem or causes them torment.   This can take the form of verbal comments, actions or gestures.
Sometimes, people attempt to assert their authority, or establish a position of superiority over other users in these ways.   THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR.
Please contact the moderators (bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com) if you have an issue with another member (arising from their/your participation on this group) that you cannot resolve privately.   Those considered by the Moderators to be flaming or bullying (this also includes continual nitpicking and disparagement of posts), will first be warned and may ultimately be banned. If this happens it will be announced on the boards.

If this is happening outside of the group e.g. on a blog or other website, we can offer advice, but not take any action that affects the occurrence. If this is something that affects the group as a whole or could be seen as an invasion of privacy of members or the Yahoo group AND the perpetrator is a member, we reserve the right to ask them to amend their posting / publishing and if the issue remains then we also reserve the right to ask them to leave the group, or ban them. We are aware that this would have no impact on the external behaviour, but if they cannot respect the group / members outside, why are they still a member?
 

ATTACHMENTS:

Attachments are not permitted.   This is for your protection and helps prevent the spread of viruses.   If you wish to upload a file, please contact the Moderators directly bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com with a description of the file’s contents.
 

PROMOTION OF OTHER GROUPS:   *updated*

We permit (limited) promotion of other yahoo groups  provided it is likely to be of relevance and interest, to the group members.   It is considered courteous to ask permission of the Moderators first.   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com.   If you are advertising for a regular event, we would request that you to limit this to once a week at most, with a reminder the day before.
 

COMMERCIAL ADVERTISING:   *updated*

We permit limited commercial advertising.   It is considered courteous to ask permission of the Moderators first.   bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com   We do not permit SPAM.   You SPAM, we BAN!
 

NOTICE FOR PRO-DOMMES:   *updated*

If you are a pro-Domme, we would appreciate it if you left promotion of your activities and/or visits to Ireland to the Personals list (bdsmireland-personals: www.groups.yahoo.com/group/bdsmireland-personals/join).   You provide an important service for many of our members but it is more appropriate to that forum.   You are, however, most welcome to contribute to general discussions on bdsmireland.   Please note we will not allow the advertising of sexual services (and we are aware that most pro-dommes do not offer these).
 

STUPID QUESTIONS?

There is no such thing as a stupid question.
(Well almost <S>)   This list is a resource and brings together people with many years experience with those who have none.   Ask and someone will answer, or point you in the right direction (there are probably half a dozen other people wanting to know the answer too).
 

GENERAL QUERIES:   *updated*

If you have any questions, queries, wishes, dreams, desires….
If you have any questions or queries that you would rather not post to the group – please contact the moderators privately (bdsmireland-owner@yahoogroups.com).   This applies if you have a problem with a certain procedure or another member which you cannot resolve yourself.
If it is a general query about bdsm, this should be directed to the group.   If you are ever in doubt about something, please query the moderators.   The moderators cannot provide you with the perfect Dom(me) or sub, and are unlikely to perform these services for you. While they can always be contacted, please don’t ask for these.
 
Updated: June, 2009
 
 

Additions And Modifications Just For Me
 
Unsolicited Private Contact

The bdsmireland moderators have an established history of declining to enforce respect and consent according to their own rules, and then changing their rules to exclude the relevant item from protection under those rules.   Over time bdsmireland moderators have increasingly added more and more disclaimers and exclusions to further and further reduce their commitment to enforce respect for consent.

The bdsmireland moderators knew I had a stalker.   So to cover their prior failures to enforce respect and consent under their previous rules, they have added the exclusions about stalkers to further reduce their explicit commitment to enforce respect and consent.

In this version of the rules, the bdsmireland moderators on one hand claim to value and support consent, whilst simultaneously hugely expanding the list of exclusions which itemise transgressions of consent which bdsmireland moderators will now freely allow.

In short, since nearly every kind of unconsensual contact is explicitly excluded from bdsmireland moderator protection, the only unconsensual contact which the bdsmireland moderators are committing to enforce against is instant messages between members of bdsmireland who are  not  also members of bdsmireland-personals.   And who exactly is that supposed to help?   Oh, wait, I forgot, it helps the moderators.

I have no idea why the bdsmireland moderators don’t just explicitly state that they decline to enforce consent for unsolicited contact between group members.   That would have been a whole lot shorter and clearer.

 
Post Moderation

The current rules state:   “We may not personally agree with your point of view, but we do agree with your right to say it (unless it contravenes the rules)”

Those stated policies are contradicted by bdsmireland moderator behaviour as documented on this blog, by the additional group posting restrictions in other sections of the rules, and by the rules restricting what members may post outside bdsmireland.

Based on my past experience with these individuals, their behaviour is much more likely to contradict their words than to support them.   So however much they may  say  they agree in principle with anybody’s right to express their opinions, their past behaviour and additional posting restrictions indicate that the bdsmireland moderators are more than likely to  act in contradiction  of that statement.

 
Blog Link Prohibition Lifted

Even though the bdsmireland moderators quietly implemented and enforced this rule for  three months   (during which time they failed to disclose or list it in the rules document),  the prohibition against blog links  (actually just my blog, nobody else’s)  was  only  enforced in bdsmireland shortly after I published BDSM Horror Stories.   Now that my absence from the group has been enforced, the prohibition against blog links has been lifted.

Now they’re trying to make us believe that the prohibition was designed solely to protect members from spammer and scammer sites  (which description [just by chance] happens to fit my blog, obviously).   It’s nice to know the bdsmireland moderators group my blog in the same category as  “illegal or to the detriment of people e.g. a web page that gathers people’s details or trying to sell Viagra”.   It’s also nice to know that the bdsmireland moderators have such a high opinion of my blog that they had to ban  all  blogs just to conceal their desire to ban mine alone.

Hey, isn’t that kind of like using Vatican City and the Swiss Guard to protect a used tea bag?

 
Flaming, Bullying and Harassment

This rule contains perfectly accurate descriptions of the behaviour perpetrated against me by bdsmireland moderators and group members.   The bdsmireland moderators even link to to some of the very same pages I linked to before to illustrate this specific behaviour, when I was documenting bdsmireland moderator behaviour towards me on this blog.

This is an excellent example of simultaneously doing and denouncing the same thing.
 
The rules now state:   “we reserve the right to ask them to amend their posting / publishing and if the issue remains then we also reserve the right to ask them to leave the group, or ban them. [...] If this happens it will be announced on the boards.”

• No request was  ever  made to me by any bdsmireland moderator to amend my posting or publishing on my blog.
• No specific request was  ever  made to me by any bdsmireland moderator to modify anything I was doing outside bdsmireland.
• I was  never  advised of my upcoming ban by any bdsmireland moderator prior to the ban.
• No warning was  ever  made to me by any bdsmireland moderator that I would be banned.
• No announcement was  ever  made on the boards about my ban.